Summer Plans

I have been so busy these days, trying to figure school stuff out- and of course- dealing with regular drama, which seems a bit more heightened these days. Perhaps due to the end of the year?

This is the last week of classes, and next week I have three final exams- none of which I have begun to prepare for. Is it safe to say that I'm screwed? Colloquial language- but sends the message across better I think.

So I will stay away from blogging for at least a couple of days. But knowing me- I will probably end up writing a little bit anyways. Am I getting addicted to blogging?

On the bright side- I am leaving for Pakistan for the summer on May 10th.

I'm not sure I have mentioned it before, but I was born in Pakistan, and I actually moved to the US in September 2001. So this will be my first time going back. I am really excited, but I'm cautious as well. I want this summer to be a changing experience where I can discover who I really am as a Pakistani American, and also reconnect with my family. But I am going by myself in a "foreign" country, where I am afraid I might not be able to blend in well. I am fluent in Urdu (the national language of Pakistan), but the way I communicate with people in the US is through a mix of English and Urdu. I fear that I might not be able to speak Urdu entirely. And my dressing, my style, and manner of living, even my liberal opinions are issues I am very concerned about.

Will I change too much during the summer that I will not be able to be myself when I return? But what I am more worried about is not changing at all, or realizing really important things about life and society, but  not being able to implement change and find a balance between my old self and my new self, when I return. I think I am very much ready of a paradigm change. So this is my way of seeking it.

And am I too spoiled that I am really worried about stray animals, bugs, violence and electricity? I guess I do sound like a brat- but I am still concerned nonetheless. It will be difficult I think- but I hope I will turn into a better person due to the experience.

And I will most definitely be blogging during the summer. I am hoping to focus on sociological and philosophical perspectives during my travels, but I will probably also be tempted to share every detail of every day as well! ;)