I have been thinking and talking to a lot of my friends about conformity and protocol. It seems to make logical sense I guess. The general opinion seems to be that society works in a certain way, and it is not exactly conforming and losing your uniqueness if you decide to live within that system. What I mean by protocol is the meaning behind different gestures- where when someone says one thing, they actually mean something else, or rather simply certain expectations from people in society.
I find this to be an issue because it seems like there is double meaning behind every action. It is kind of frustrating- because it seems like a game with subtle hints. What frustrates me is that- why can I not communicate with a person with just honesty- just talk without a particular purpose? And just because a person is talking to me in return- why does it have to imply anything?
There are some clear implications about our society due to the status quo. I think it means that we are afraid of being honest. I guess there is generally an ultimate goal of a conversation, and it is not "socially acceptable," to state that in the beginning. It seems like both parties want something generally from the other person, and both are aware of the other person's desire as well- but at the same time- we do not desire to admit it, and instead we prefer to keep guessing about every intention. There are several examples that come to mind in particular.
When a person I know was starting a new major project, his friend was very helpful, and did so much for him. And the whole time, the person I know could not figure out why the other person was helpful to him.
Another example is from Big Bang Theory, where a grad student was obsessed with Sheldon, and forced him to constantly do his work. She seemed like she just wanted to help him, because he was such a genius- but of course, she revealed in the end that she mainly wanted co-authorship in a paper he would write.
And of course- the obvious example is generally of relationships- but the implications of that are obvious, so I would rather not discuss this topic.
And here in our conversation enter "awkward people." I think there is something very special about awkward people- because they defy the norm. They generally state things as is, and do not desire to play the intentions guessing game.
A perfect example of an awkward person action was seen in Beautiful Mind, a movie about the Economist John Nash. This is a perfect quote from the movie which describes exactly the topic:
Nash to his girlfriend: "I find you attractive. Your aggressive moves toward me... indicate that you feel the same way. But still, ritual requires that we continue with a number of platonic activities...I am proceeding with these activities, but in point of actual fact, all I really want to do is have intercourse with you as soon as possible.
[pause]
Are you gonna slap me now?"
You see- awkward people point out stuff that you are not "supposed" to point out. They realize that often social conventions do not have much logic in them. I have a lot of respect for people like that- because they always make me think about my actions.
Another fun example is something that one of my lab partners said. Unfortunately, I had forgotten my TA's name, and I did not want to be rude and not know his name. So I asked my lab partner if he could possible ask the TA's name. And my lab partner replied- "why do you need to know his name. Just say- hey you, or something like that." It was such a priceless moment.
But I am not so sure about which alternative I would choose. If we lived in a society without so much euphemism, and so many subtleties, and we were just honest all the time- I feel like I would not be strong enough to handle everyone telling me the truth about me. I guess this is another gray area in life- because there needs to be a balance of conformity, and uniqueness.
On a random note: I was in physics lab with two awkward geniuses this Friday, and honestly- I felt so dumb- because they would discuss some complex physics thing, and then sit and ponder forever about it-while in my mind- I just tried to look cool as if I had any idea what they were talking about. I honestly remember thinking to myself- "what are they even thinking about?"
Umm- I guess it is safe to say that physics is not my forte...
No comments:
Post a Comment