Paranoia Is In the Air

I will soon be heading to Pakistan, and I think I am getting cold feet. I mean, so much can change right?

But I am still very excited to understand my roots, and to learn about myself and my culture.

I have also been learning that although some parts of Pakistan might contain people that are very conservative, there are other parts where I can just be normal and wear whatever I generally wear in the US. I was actually very surprised to learn that. I will keep you all posted about how these two opposing societies and views coexist.

Currently, I am preoccupied with picking a perfect outfit for the flight. I want to wear something which does not get me stereotyped as a fundamental Islamic fanatic in the US airport, nor stereotyped as a too liberal American in the Pakistan airport.

My flight to the US for the first time was in October 2001, and I remember that we were stereotyped at every stop, where my family was checked with much more detail, and a plane was even delayed by almost an hour, just so that all of our stuff, every single bag was checked thoroughly. This offended me because they even opened every bad of chips my mom packed for me as a snack, while I distinctly remember that a Caucasian male was allowed to pass without any checking. Because of all the harsh treatment my family received at the airport several years ago, I am still very afraid of security because of my dislike of being judged due to my clothing or the color of my skin.

Perhaps I am simply paranoid. Which reminds me of Uprising by Muse. I highly recommend that song! :)

Another issue that I am worried about is that people seem to nonchalant about bombing. I hear people mention bombing in such a casual way. I am worried firstly, that I will be way more worried than they will be. And secondly, I am concerned about how a human being can even become nonchalant about bombing in such close proximity to them. It seems like their death is prevented simply by slight chance, and yet they seem so brave to me. How does one become like that? That implies a lot about human capacity.

Just as a random note- I am very excited to announce that I received an internship at the hospital that I was born in! This means that I can celebrate my 21st birthday, not only in the country I was born in, but in the exact hospital I was born in!!! How exciting is that?