It is a Social Life

There are so many things that are different here, that it is so difficult for me to paint a clear portrait about what the culture is here, along with how I am dealing with it, and what difficulties I am facing.

First of all, I wanted to inform everyone about how I am dealing with the culture shock. I was not exactly sure what I was getting myself into, and anyone I spoke to, whether they were from Pakistan or the United States, all advised me not to come to Pakistan for an extended time. I was warned about the danger, the heat, the mosquitoes, the conservative society, the lack of freedom, and the unkempt environment.

I have decided that I am writing on this blog to perhaps provide a critique of this culture according to my perspective, and not to criticize this culture. It would be a very foolish action for anyone to declare that the western world is better than the eastern world. And I am learning more and more that there are ups and downs to both societies.

One of my main desires in coming to Pakistan was to understand a little bit better about how the other half of the world survives. I believe it is almost imperitive for everyone in the world to ponder and to truly seek to understand how others all over the world live, because only then can be properly perform our duty as world citizens.

Of course, there are no hard and fast rules that distinguish cultures, particularly because each culture itself is too complex to generalize easily, but what I have been realizing as one of the main significant differences in the American and the Pakistani society is the differences in value given to a human's existence as a self, versus a human existence as part of a community. 

In the United States, who I am as an independent individual is a common question, and there are several aspects of American culture that result from this ideology:

• A prominent thought in the US is that I should not care about how another person thinks about my dressing, my career choices, or my desires. 
• American ideology places a lot of emphasis upon personal time. After hanging out with people all day, us Americans need some time to ourselves to think about things, and to just be away from other, including our own family members. 
•  It is often considered essential for an older teen to move away from home, and learn to earn and manage her/his own money. And often attending college outside of the state is encouraged because it builds character, and teachers a young adult how to be self-sufficient.
• There is a concept of invisible impenetrable personal space bubble that should not be punctured by even a casual friend.

In Pakistan, how we exist as a society is the common question.

• Everyone is very much concerned about family respect, making sure to uphold the family honor.
• The members of this society interact with each other so much. Every single day, everyone attends the religious center- whichever one they belong to. I believe it is as much a social activity as it is a religious one. After the religious ceremonies are over, you meet with all the people you know, talk about your day, share recipes, complain about the heat or the violence. Then you go back towards your colony (which is like an apartment complex), and there are lots of areas to sit, where you gather with your friends and talk at least for half an hour or so. It is a very social life! Pakistani people have lots and lots of friends.
• Oh my goodness- the volunteerism! There are so many things you can volunteer for, and so many programs going on. The programs are mainly through the religious center, but they involve all sorts of activities for all sorts of people. There is band, cub scouts, shine scouts, computer classes, summer camps of all sorts, programs for senior citizens, for special needs people, for mothers, for students. And every single person that I have spoken to is a part of at least 3 institutions.
• One thing that I find to be very odd is that people randomly go to each others' homes whenever they want without calling or informing first. And what is even more odd- people really love it when others visit. I mean they really love it, and they become sad when people do not come to visit.
• There is not exactly a concept of personal time. Here, I am constantly with others. The only time I am by myself is when I am changing or in the washroom (no one uses the word restroom- odd isn't it.
• Everyone knows all their neighbors, and they talk with each other all the time. People always leave their homes open during the day without worrying about anything. And people are always sitting in their balconies, talking with people that are passing by, or just sitting and observing.

Even though they all complain about life being so busy- to me, it seems like a very relaxed and amazingly slow-paced life. At the research lab, there is chai time daily, and coworkers go in groups of maybe 5-6, and just drink chai, share biscuits (by biscuits I mean cookies and crackers. I don't think actual american bread biscuits are eaten here, and cookies are referred to as biscuits), and talk about what is going on in their lives. Everyone is so aware of what is going on in everyone else's life, and somehow you are expected to know everyone in your community, and their relationship with everyone else. Gossip is an important part of this life. It is something that is not liked in the community, but it is also an essential practice. After all, if you talk with so many people, almost all day, then you obviously hear and talk about what is going on with others.

It is a social life here- where human beings interact with each other much much more than they interact with the internet and music and television. I know I shouldn't admit it, but I really miss the constant existence of music, internet and television in my life! I value human interactions much more, but I suppose I have become too comfortable with the status quo of interaction with nonliving things. Of course, I am not implying that in the US, people do not communicate with each other. I am simply pointing out that in Pakistan, people interact with each other on a much greater level, and interact with technology on a much lower level. I believe that the reason for that is not the lack of technology access, but rather the culture of socialization.