First Post on Pakistan

I have constantly been thinking for the past six days that I have been here in Pakistan about how to portray a correct perspective without causing anyone to hate my experience.

Currently, everything is too different for me to be able to provide an accurate description, so I have decided to list some key things that I am currently liking or disliking (basically things that really stand out).

• I understand a bit more of what it means to live in the third world. If I could use three concepts to describe this world visually, they would be pollution, rust and graffiti.
• Pollution is the norm. I do not wish to belittle this society, but it is simply a fact that the definition of "clean" is simply very different from what is considered clean in American society. Areas that many consider very clean are in a condition that I believe would probably be considered a health hazard in the United States. I do not mean to imply that this society does not clean (because people here clean more than I have ever seen anyone clean), but simply that somehow, even after cleaning all day, things just don't become as clean as they do in the US: the dust just settles again, and the smell just never leaves.
• Everything is rusty. I have yet to see a shiny piece of metal. But there is something in the air that makes everything rusty. I know this for a fact because I bought a new shiny golden watch the day before my flight and brought it here for use. In the US, this watch would probably remain shiny for maybe two years. Somehow, within 24 hours, this watch is totally rusty. It looks more copper than golden. I am completely fascinated by how this happened. I am still in utter shock.
• There is no wall, or road, or freeway (if you can call them freeways) or street, that is not covered with large writings, all mainly in black. I would not call any of it art. Rather it is all political propaganda, promoting the government.
• I understand a bit more about what terrorism means.
• Harry Potter comes to mind often here. There is a new population of people that has travelled to this area, and they are known to be the ones causing much of the danger in the area. Therefore, I am constantly being warned about them, and people are constantly telling me that these people are the ones putting up the graffiti, and kidnapping people, and making things dangerous. However, you are not allowed to call them by their name. You are only supposed to whisper about them, and even then, always refer to them as "them." They who must not be named!  
• This society is obsessed with local and domestic news. Everyone is constantly watching the news. If there is any death nearby, people immediately text everyone in their contact list. Every single death, or firing, or kidnapping is talked about, and since there is something dangerous going on constantly, the environment is kind of depressing all the time (at least to me.)
• Everyone here is afraid I will get kidnapped. It scares me, but also somewhat annoys me.
• Some random things:
• I miss toilet paper. Can I admit something without being judged? I am not a theif, and I find stealing to be very unethical, but I stole a roll of toilet paper. I have no idea where to find toilet paper, and I have not seen it being sold anywhere, and I know it would be a very odd conversation if I asked my aunt to purchase toilet paper for me, so I stole a roll of toilet paper. I was initially assigned a room, at the place where I am interning, due to a misunderstanding. But two days later, I had to move out of it. Technically, I was not supposed to ever have received the room, and therefore, I was not entitled to keep the toilet paper roll in the fancy Americanized room. However, when I had to take all my stuff from the room, I took the toilet paper roll with me, because I was not sure if I would be able to find any toilet paper anywhere.
• I hate mosquito bites. I do not use bug spray that much, but I apply bug spray anytime I am going to the restroom. If I do not, I come out with at least 15-20 mosquito bites. The first few days, it felt like my entire body was on fire because I had so many mosquito bites!
• I often feel like my clothing has more sweat on it than actual cloth.
• Everyone expected me to be a brat who requires constant AC use, and who complains all the time about the mosquito bites. I do not complain about these things here, but the truth is that the American me complained all day in the US if I got even one mosquito bite, and at home, I constantly asked my mom to reduce the AC temperature. I currently have probably had maybe 150 mosquito bites at least, and I have been living without any AC for maybe 3 days.
• An aunt of mine was afraid of inviting me into her home because she felt that her home was not freshly painted, and the wall did not look nice. I am not really interested in the paint quality of homes- I just wanted to meet my aunt.
• The light goes off at least three times a day for about two hours each. Nuff said.
• The water comes on in the morning at around 7:05, and I am up at 6:30 every morning. Can you imagine waking up an not being able to use the restroom, or wash your face, or brush your teeth, or shower for even 5 minutes after you are awake? I think the water issue is my biggest issue. When I wake up, I really need water!
• I feel like I am constantly dirty, and I just desire to shower all day.
• I do not see people wash their hands as much. I desire to wash my hands constantly and yet I often cannot. Already I see myself washing my hand about three times as much as everyone. So often times, my hands feel so gross and oily, but I do not want to offend people around me by washing my hands so much. I try very hard to not be so high maintenance. I think a lot of them have the stereotype of the germaphobic, picky American. I think it is an accurate stereotype, but I desire to not be so obvious about it.
• I miss music so so much!! I want to listen to my english songs, or any songs in general. The van driver played some really old songs yesterday, but I was so happy to finally hear something musical, that I automatically had a large smile on my face.
• I hate that my phone balance runs out all the time. I miss my family in the US, so I call them often (maybe 20 minutes every other day or so), and my phone balance dies so quickly.
• I am afraid of using my camera because I fear it will be stolen immediately. That's because people are constantly afraid of using their phones in public, because phones are often stolen. Apparently, getting mugged is a common occurence and a constant fear.
• Nobody lets me pay for anything! I have not spent a rupee on anything, except when I am at the research lab where I go to eat lunch.

• More than anything, I feel so much love!!!! These people (my family here) barely know me, and I have not seen them in eleven years, but they really love me guys. How is that possible? How can there be so much love available in my share, and yet, I have been away from it for eleven years? I would be willing to give up almost anything to be able to have this much love around me all the time. If makes me feel whole!

That is all for now!

Mi Visita a México

I went to Mexico over the winter of 2011, and I had a lot of fun. My parents were going to get some dental work done (which is by the way about a fifth of the price), so my sister and I tagged along for a vacation. We went for about a week, and we actually booked a room in a Marriot at the edge of Texas in a place called Mercedes, Texas and stayed there during the night, and visited Mexico during the day.  The first picture is the first one we took by the border where I was apparently in Mexico, while my dad was officially in the US. I just thought is was so cool that I was a foot away from my dad and yet we were in different countries. You have to admit, that is pretty cool. 

So this is how the system worked. Basically we parked the car on the Texas (US) side of the border, where it cost, I think $2, to park for the entire day, and we walked towards the border, where you insert a quarter and walk over to Mexico. Can you believe that? You have to show no ID, or anything to enter Mexico- you just need a quarter! Of course, returning to the US is a complicated task. 

So after entering your quarter, you walk on a long bridge, where you can see the Rio Grande to your right, and when you keep going, you pass the sign below that says Mexico: Puente Internacional- Nuevo Progresso. We were officially in an area of Mexico called Nuevo Progresso, and that is the place where we visited for the entire week. As soon as you pass this sign, and keep going, you are bombarded with literally dozens of people all offering dental services, and pharmacy services, and opthamologist services, along with dozens of other things. I mean literally within a fifth of a mile, just on one street, there are probably about 50-60 dental areas, and dozens of pharmacies, and all of them speak at least basic English, and accept dollars. 

Just less than a mile behind us stood the United States, and yet it was obvious that we were no where in the US. Everything about Mexico was different. First of all- the main thing you notice immediately, right after noticing the pharmacy areas, is the dust on the streets. The streets are completely dusty, and  each day, my outfit had a layer of dust on it, and my hair needed to be washed daily because I could barely comb through it by the end of the day each day. 

That being said, I have to admit that my trip to Mexico was one of the most exciting and fulfilling trips I have taken so far. It felt real to me. Is that odd to say? I feel like I have to concede that I am so tired these days of the way the US looks. I remember when I was in San Antonio, and when we were driving on the freeway, I had the sudden feeling that I was near home in Houston. That is because the freeway and everything around looked exactly the way the freeway environment looks in Houston. I have had this same feeling in many places I have gone to. It seems like so many of our cities and towns in the US look the exact same, and so many buildings are so predictable. No matter which Walmart I go to in the US, I always know where I can find the pharmacy, or milk. Our world is a prototype that has been replicated everywhere- and where not much stands out. I get so bored in US malls in particular these days because everything looks exactly the same no matter which mall I go to, with the same stores, and the same music, and same costs, and same style, and same order. 

When I went to Mexico, I realized what I was missing. Each place stood out for its unique look. There were no fast foods, or Walmarts or even Krogers or Whole Foods- just random businesses which people built themselves, and some large stores which all stood out because they sold different things, and had a different look about them. 

I love the fact that I somewhat look Hispanic, because I got to practice a lot of Spanish. I tried so hard to pretend that I was from Mexico because I really wanted to belong to this awesome society. Of course, I couldn't do too great of a job, but I still had fun trying to speak and bargain in Spanish for the majority of the day. But bargaining is such a difficult task. I felt so guilty asking the vendors to reduce their prices, because a majority of the people made the stuff they were selling. 

One of the most fun things I did there was eating on the streets. Basically every single day, my parents went to their dentist while my sister and I went to the streets, shopped and bought elotes! Well it took me actually a day (or two) to understand that  elotes was corn. But the elotes we bought was not just any corn. It was corn on the cob with creamy white cheese, mayo, red spice, and lemon. That is the best use of $2 in my life! 

There were so many vendors of elotes in every single place, all day long, that they were really easy to find.

 The environment in Mexico felt so authentic, and just so different. A totally new and crazy experience! And the food in Mexico is some of the most delicious food I have ever had in my life! I think we ordered like eight of the little pastry things the lady was selling at the this particular stand (below), and we took like half an hour just to sit outside on the broken table and chairs and eat. 

The streets and each of the stores look unique in their own way, and I especially appreciated the nice use of color everywhere, such as the blue store in the picture with my dad and mom. My sister and I also discovered a dark magenta and neon color apartment area. There seemed to be so much spunk about the place, where the name, labels and everything had unique font and color. Mexican people are not afraid of color- and I totally respect that!

Since there were not many cars driving generally, my mom (similar to the rest of us) jaywalked all over the place.

There is so much more to share about Mexico, that I could probably write a mini book- but I am just writing tiny tidbits about it, and perhaps I will share a lot more in the near future! The picture above of Serratos makes me look crazy, but I had to share that picture because Serratos seriously gave us two enormous burritos and a fanta all for five dollars. The main problem was that Serratos was mainly for the Hispanic vendors, and workers in the area since there was no one who spoke English in there, and they charged money in pesos. We were very confused the first time we went there, but somehow I managed to order the burritos in Spanish, and the waitress agreed to convert the pesos amount to dollars and accept the dollars instead. After that time, we just went there several times, and looked for the same waitress and ordered the same exact thing. 

We also tried several different, more famous eating places, which were all pretty good, but really pricey and still could not find any food that tasted better than the burritos from Serratos! 

In the end, I was going crazy, and took several pictures where I was in Mexico and the US at the same time! It was really amusing I promise! 

Ps: Exiting everyday was really difficult because my family and I look Hispanic, and all the guards at the US entrance border thought we were sneaking in illegally. It would be quite hilarious if we got locked up or something for trying to escape Mexico, when we are not from Mexico at all!

Overall a phenomenal experience! If you ever want to visit, just message me and I can give you more info! :)

Paranoia Is In the Air

I will soon be heading to Pakistan, and I think I am getting cold feet. I mean, so much can change right?

But I am still very excited to understand my roots, and to learn about myself and my culture.

I have also been learning that although some parts of Pakistan might contain people that are very conservative, there are other parts where I can just be normal and wear whatever I generally wear in the US. I was actually very surprised to learn that. I will keep you all posted about how these two opposing societies and views coexist.

Currently, I am preoccupied with picking a perfect outfit for the flight. I want to wear something which does not get me stereotyped as a fundamental Islamic fanatic in the US airport, nor stereotyped as a too liberal American in the Pakistan airport.

My flight to the US for the first time was in October 2001, and I remember that we were stereotyped at every stop, where my family was checked with much more detail, and a plane was even delayed by almost an hour, just so that all of our stuff, every single bag was checked thoroughly. This offended me because they even opened every bad of chips my mom packed for me as a snack, while I distinctly remember that a Caucasian male was allowed to pass without any checking. Because of all the harsh treatment my family received at the airport several years ago, I am still very afraid of security because of my dislike of being judged due to my clothing or the color of my skin.

Perhaps I am simply paranoid. Which reminds me of Uprising by Muse. I highly recommend that song! :)

Another issue that I am worried about is that people seem to nonchalant about bombing. I hear people mention bombing in such a casual way. I am worried firstly, that I will be way more worried than they will be. And secondly, I am concerned about how a human being can even become nonchalant about bombing in such close proximity to them. It seems like their death is prevented simply by slight chance, and yet they seem so brave to me. How does one become like that? That implies a lot about human capacity.

Just as a random note- I am very excited to announce that I received an internship at the hospital that I was born in! This means that I can celebrate my 21st birthday, not only in the country I was born in, but in the exact hospital I was born in!!! How exciting is that?

My Versatile (and Super Amazing) Younger Sister

 How is anyone supposed to compare with my amazing sister? I am not jealous or anything, but I will admit that it is really difficult being as awesome as her. I mean seriously- she is gorgeous, intelligent, caring, and fun all at the same time! And I don't just mean smart, I mean gifted! This kid is way smarter than I am. So she actually transferred to a more challenging school this year. And she has been  entertaining me daily about how "weird," gifted kids are.

She is unique because she is a "regular," kid who happens to be gifted. She is not a kid who was brought up in a gifted environment her entire life, so she can see how warped the status quo is in her school is. What we are all mainly used to, and even what the media generally portrays is that the popular students are mainly concerned with fashion and reputation, while the bullied kids were the ones who were interested in school and video games and dressed generally out of fashion. Well in her school, the most intelligent kids with the best grades are also the most popular. It is a middle school world I cannot imagine.

This post is mainly from one random night when she was telling me about her school students, and the stuff she was saying was so golden that I had to write it all down.

Our conversation started with her telling me that "my school's got problems." Her school is divided between the gifted "decent [looking] people who tuck in her shirts, and the rest who look at us and walk away." According to her, the school that she is attending actually was performing terribly, so to attract more students, they added an academy portion where some students could transfer to the school to take more challenging courses. The academy students and the rest of the students are still required to take classes together because the academy students were deemed very antisocial. Clearly, the attempt at social mixing has led to some interesting issues in her school.

One unintended result, according to her is that "all the people in my geometry class think they've got 'swag.'" According to my sister, these students not only think they are "gangsta," they also "think they're cool because the teachers know them." These try having "swag," to fit in with other students not from the academy, and they fit in with students from the academy by being cool with the teachers. Apparently, it is common to brag and say, "oh yea, all the teachers know me, I'm so cool." Umm- I think she has got a point about her school having problems. Maybe in college, you can pass for cool if you are known by teachers and principals, but definitely not in middle school. It is like a warped society where the nerdy kids are the popular "plastics," who rule the school, and who think they are very cool.

She is of course inspired by the school system where good grades are encouraged, however, she made a good point saying, "I can't imagine how they'll survive [when they enter high school]." And being the funny kid she is, she mentions, "Good thing they are going together to the same high school, so they can comfort each other [when they are getting bullied]."


A funny topic she mentioned that was fascinating was that her assistant principal is an anglo "old man in his 40s , who is chubby with a long beard," who uses "rap songs in casual conversations." Recently, he reprimanded a student out of his seat by announcing on the mic "park it like its hot."

Another thing she mentioned that I thought was pretty cool is that the students with hijabs (headscarves) seem to have the coolest fashion sense in her school.

One last thing that she mentioned that I could not stop laughing about was when her teacher played a parody about what cool kids are. In the parody, the cool kids were nerds with secret hand shakes, who were obsessed with video games and who dressed in khaki pants and tucked in shirts. At the end of the video, the majority of the students in her class did not realize that the video was a parody, and were very confused. "Nuff said!"

As a final comment, I would like to point out that I actually think that this environment she is in is pretty cool where students value education, and they wear what they desire to wear, and they make that become fashion in their schools. I mean, I do find it odd that the most intelligent students show off about their grades in class, and they are encouraged to do so by other students and teachers, but I also think it is a an admirable and rare environment where education is valued. I like however, that my sister is capable of fitting in in this interesting environment, and also in a regular school where fashion and media are more valued. She keeps up with Teen Vogue, is the best hair stylist I know, has a great sense of fashion, knows her actors, and the news, and at the same time, is very hardworking when it comes to school work! I'm so so proud of her! :D

Bloody Cake Pops

I will now provide the directions for how to make the best cake pops ever, freak people out with an illusion of blood, and have a blast at the same time: 

1: Make Red Velvet cake from the cake mix boxes (even though everyone knows red velvet cake mix makes terrible red velvet cake)

2: Be a man and get your hands dirty and mix and mix and mix. (I recommend washing hands prior to this step, but that is optional depending upon taste.) 

3: Accept that you are probably decreasing your life expectancy, and add tons of whip cream. (Did anyone note the Teen Vogue on the table next to the large bowl? Just a random fact)

 4: Since you have accepted that life will be short, have fun by making a large ball of the mixture, and threaten to eat it without sharing with anyone. (Warning: this might lead to a large fight, which may or may not be acceptable to you.) 

 5: Appreciate the bloody look of your hands, and attempt to smile...

6: Convert the mixture into little balls, and freeze in the freezer for several hours. 

7: Dip in chocolate (hot fudge or frosting), and freeze for a while again. Then enjoy! Sorry, we were too impatient to take pictures during the final chocolate stages- but they were yummy!

Enjoy!! 

Debilitating Flaws

I have been thinking a lot about personal flaws and disabilities. I believe that we often allow flaws to define us, and we forget the other blessings we are given. I do not believe that life is unfair. It might seem that way, but I really believe that this universe runs on a particular balance of things, with many trade-offs. So if we have flaws in some areas, we also have several skills at hand that need to be used. But motivation, passion, and self-confidence are keys in whether we unleash our skills, or whether we allow flaws to define us.

I was watching Ted Talks about Beauty (on Netflix), and there was a beautiful quote that the speaker said which really applies here: "If we want to discover the full potential of our humanity, we need to celebrate those heartbreaking strengths and those glorious disabilities that we all have."

The speaker,  Aimee Mullins, does not have legs, so she wears different types of legs as fashion, and it has enabled her to bring a fresh perspective into what disability and fashion are.

I hope to use my flaws to understand myself and humanity in my own unique way, and hopefully use these, so called "flaws," to my advantage as well. After all, as Mullins says, "It is our humanity, and all the potential within it, that makes us beautiful."

And I totally think I (we as humans) am beautiful! ;)


I was watching other Ted Talks, and these are some really great quotes that I wanted to share:

"If you believe that you are beautiful inside and out, then there is no look you can't pull off. "

"I feel as though as little comfort as possible is a good thing you know..."

"If you do many things, you get to feel lousy about everything...you don't master feeling lousy about one thing."

"maybe that's where all the inspiration thing started from: puppets."


 Last thing:

I wanted to practice my urdu (my native language) because I am a terrible urdu reader, and instead of reading Bombay Mix, I read, boh-mah-ba-iii  mii-cuss. I couldn't stop laughing when I realized how badly I butchered those words!!


Well take care. I am so glad to be blogging again. My mind is exploding with things to share, but I was simply so busy with school and finals! Now that I am done, I can blog much more! :)

Fashionista Moments

I do not know why, but it is always so much easier for me to begin writing again after a while if I just share some outfits and crazy pictures. So the following are just pictures of me. As you can see, I ran out of purple and burgundy paint, so I only ended up painting about two-thirds of my room door. If you pay close attention, you can see the little feathers in my hair in the picture. There is a blue one, and two different shades of pink! The blue one came off because I tugged on it too much, but the two dark pinks are still there, and I think they add a bit of "spunk," to my look. And plus, dark pink goes with almost any outfit! :)  

 The next picture is just me showing off my blue contacts! I think they are fun. And yes, I know it is summer time, and that there is no logic to the winter hat. I just saw it on the shelf so I put it on because it looks really nice with the contacts.



The pictures with the enormous glasses were definitely goofy pictures. The glasses are actually 3D glasses from the theater with the 3D lenses popped out. I think they look really funny. I look odd. It is just that modern weird fads make people actually compliment me. If I wore those even one year ago, people would probably laugh at me. It is kind of funny how perceptions change so quickly right? And it was even more odd to me that after wearing those around the home just for fun, I actually started to like them on my face.

I wore the below dress to my religious center, and I really liked the eye make-up so I wanted to share it. I know everyone always has so many rules about applying eye make-up, and there are endless tutorials on youtube about how to apply eye make-up, but for me, I just have fun with it, and apply whatever colors I think will look good. I always choose dramatic over simple, because it keeps life much more fun.

 I wore the this white and gold outfit to the bacchanalia party at my school. I would not have been able to put this outfit together at all without my sister. She gets all the credit for it. She is tons of talent with costumes, and hair. The only thing I was responsible for was the make-up, and I kept it pretty casual. 

Yay to first blogpost after a very long time! I am hoping to write several more soon! :)