Cleaners' Point, and Other Jokes and Stuff

Some interesting things:

-The janitors' closet was labeled cleaners' point.
-The purpose of foundation here is to lighten your skin, not to even it out.
- People use a lot of scented powder- and just shower themselves with lots of powder, on their faces, necks, backs, arms, etc.
- Perfume is more popular than deodorant, and instead of spraying once or twice, you are supposed to spray perfume like 10-15 times.
-There are lots of animals here randomly roaming the streets- cats, cows, dogs, donkeys, mice- it is a mini zoo. When one of my aunts moved near the place I am staying, her son, who was very young at the time asked her if they moving to zoo garden (I am not sure why, but zoo is called zoo garden. When I asked, my cousin said that that is because there is always a park connected with the zoo.)
- Fast food is very famous here. Except that burgers are all vegetarian. I thinking maybe there was something lost in translation because I have never seen burgers that were vegetarian in the US. I am very happy about that though because I don't eat meat.
- The word for meat is only used to describe meat of cows or goats. Apparently, chicken is not considered meat. So everyone always asks me, "You don't eat meat, or chicken?" I find that to be very amusing! :)
-A particular mango juice box (boxed juice?) is really famous here, which is called Slice.
-A cellphone is referred to as a set. So when we went to the internet store, the guy told me I needed to change my set.
-There are way too many beggars, and they do not leave you alone, even after you give them money. We kept requesting one guy to leave after we gave him money, and he just kept asking for more. My uncle was so upset, that I was afraid someone was going to get beaten up. Is it terrible to admit that I found that scene to be pretty fascinating?
-The van driver I come back with from research lab plays the same three old songs daily. I am not bored of them yet, I simply find it amusing.

Good night.

:)

Life in a Rickshaw

Driving in Pakistan is an activity without rules. Apparantly, the only time people actually get thrown in jail for a traffic related reason is if two males are riding on one motorcycle. Seen I have been here, I have seen two signal lights that were actually up and working. I was more concerned about the waste of electricity, because no one except for me seemed to notice that the signal was red. There is no such thing as jay-walking, and no such thing as one way street. That means that roads are a mixture of rickshaws, buses, bicycles, taxis and people, walking and driving in any direction they desire. But I have not witnessed even one accident. I think that is because people do not really drive fast anywhere, and they are so accustomed to the crazy traffic so they are extra careful. Oh and seat belts most definitely do not exist. I cannot remember if I have even seen one.
On the way back from the airport, my cousin put a large bag of mine in the driver's seat. I began to ask how the driver was going to be able to drive with the large suitcase, and then I saw and remembered that the driver's side is flipped, so driver's sit on the right side of the car, and all the road and directions are opposite. How odd right?

And the cars here are so miniature. Imagine a regular compact car in the US, then cut off about .5-.75 feet from the front and the back of the car, and you have the average Pakistani car. I am still not sure where the entire fits into the car. Of course regular cars are still there, such as toyotas, and hondas, but they are rarely seen. Motorcycles are very common here, and are much cheaper than cars, so are often preferred.

Now let's discuss the most commom form of transportation used: the rickshaw.
There are so many corners in the rickshaw that you have to be very careful not to tear your clothing too much, and to prevent any injury to yourself. And basically, you can fit in as many people as you want in that little vehicle. The basically sit in the main seat in the back, three younger and lighter people can sit on the laps of the people on the seat, and you can fit two people on the miniature seat made for the driver in the front. That is an insane amount of crowded!

The first day that I had to sit in a rickshaw, I was panic-stricken for my life! It feels like sitting in a very mini car, without any doors. I tried my best to keep my hands and legs totally inside the vehicle because the traffic is so scary, and the speed breakers made me jump up and down so much.

Rickshaw drivers make me laugh. Unfortunately, I am not laughing with them. At least for the rickshaws I have riden, the drivers are men (all rickshaw drivers are men), maybe in their thirties, with awkward hair length (not long or short enough to be appealing- but in the middle where it looks like all of them could use a hair cut). There are way too many mirrors for the driver to view from, and many of them are often placed in a position where the driver can stare at the females sitting in the back. I felt so awkward yesterday, because the driver in one of the rickshaws we sat in, placed one entire mirror in a position where he could just stare at my face. It was so awkward, and I kind of wanted to slap him, but I didn't care enough to say anything.

The next rickshaw driver we rode with yesterday made my day! This crazy character play really old songs, very loudly in the speakers in his rickshaw, and he kept staring at me, my cousin and my aunt. I am sorry to admit, but his face was not good looking at all, he had really oily hair, and he really needed to shower- but he was trying so hard to look very cool for us. When we got off the rickshaw for like 5 minutes to buy pretty hats that I saw, my aunt wanted my cousin to switch spots because she felt that the driver was staring at my cousin. The guy simply would not let my cousin switch spots. He insisted that she sit exact there because the balance of the rickshaw would be off, and I could easily see that one entire mirror was set on her! I could just look at his face, and predict what he was thinking! But we ignored it, tried not to say anything in the rickshaw, and just get to our destination.

But guess what happened next? When we got off the rickshaw, the guy offered my aunt his phone number, and said that she could call him anytime she needed to get on a rickshaw. Well obviously she rejected, but I could not stop laughing. We went to the phone shop, and for like 20 minutes, the rickshaw driver was right there, and would not leave. My aunt was paranoid that he would follow us home, and then come park there everyday. I can't remember the last time I laughed as much. I bet everyone thought I was going crazy. But please do not think that all rickshaw drivers are like that. I bet there are plenty of drivers who are honest, hard-working, morally conscious people, just trying to make a living.

I have not riden in a taxi yet. Taxis are rarely used.

So Much News

People here are more politically aware than people I have seen anywhere. They know about all the parties, what the parties are doing, all the political actions their president, vice president, judges, and other officials did and are doing. Politics and the government are brought up in daily conversations every single day, and every single person watches the news daily, and then shares and discusses with others. This part of Pakistani life is very boring for me. I do not exactly keep up with the news so much, and seeing all the violence just frustrates me, and angers me. I know that the habit of not following the news, domestic and international, is a terrible choice on my part. I do believe that we, as humans, should be aware of what is going on in our society, and we should be wary of anyone reducing our freedom, or putting our lives in danger, but seeing all the terrible stuff going on in this world just makes me sad and bitter.
My habit is to maybe listen to ten minutes of news in the morning, and maybe read some headlines online, and read more if the topic is important, dangerous or interesting. I prefer this method much more than constantly reading the news, and listening to new talk shows, and reading the entire newpaper daily, and discussing and sharing with everyone I know.

Good actions and people do exist in life, but those are never highlighted in the news, and I would much rather spend my time interacting with people in my immediate surroundings. It can be labeled as ignorance, and false perception of happiness and happy society, but not being that aware of the news makes me able to be a happier person who can still appreciate the good people and good actions in life.

Representing your party, and showing your patriotism is very popular here. Apparantly, teenage boys love buying flags of their parties, and wearing them as bandanas, or waving them while riding on a motocycle. My cousin was showing me his collection of flags, and literally, he had like 25 flag, all different sizes, most of them for different occasions and different parties. My cousins made a joke that if I put pictures online of me holding certain flags, I might get banned. I did not find the joke funny, rather Orwellian.
My cousin treated his flags as if they were his most prized possessions. He folded all of them afterwards with so much care, and actually hid them in a safe. He even showed me several flags he made with the help of his mom. I was most interested in how politics becomes a part of culture, and part of the definition of "coolness."

It is a Social Life

There are so many things that are different here, that it is so difficult for me to paint a clear portrait about what the culture is here, along with how I am dealing with it, and what difficulties I am facing.

First of all, I wanted to inform everyone about how I am dealing with the culture shock. I was not exactly sure what I was getting myself into, and anyone I spoke to, whether they were from Pakistan or the United States, all advised me not to come to Pakistan for an extended time. I was warned about the danger, the heat, the mosquitoes, the conservative society, the lack of freedom, and the unkempt environment.

I have decided that I am writing on this blog to perhaps provide a critique of this culture according to my perspective, and not to criticize this culture. It would be a very foolish action for anyone to declare that the western world is better than the eastern world. And I am learning more and more that there are ups and downs to both societies.

One of my main desires in coming to Pakistan was to understand a little bit better about how the other half of the world survives. I believe it is almost imperitive for everyone in the world to ponder and to truly seek to understand how others all over the world live, because only then can be properly perform our duty as world citizens.

Of course, there are no hard and fast rules that distinguish cultures, particularly because each culture itself is too complex to generalize easily, but what I have been realizing as one of the main significant differences in the American and the Pakistani society is the differences in value given to a human's existence as a self, versus a human existence as part of a community. 

In the United States, who I am as an independent individual is a common question, and there are several aspects of American culture that result from this ideology:

• A prominent thought in the US is that I should not care about how another person thinks about my dressing, my career choices, or my desires. 
• American ideology places a lot of emphasis upon personal time. After hanging out with people all day, us Americans need some time to ourselves to think about things, and to just be away from other, including our own family members. 
•  It is often considered essential for an older teen to move away from home, and learn to earn and manage her/his own money. And often attending college outside of the state is encouraged because it builds character, and teachers a young adult how to be self-sufficient.
• There is a concept of invisible impenetrable personal space bubble that should not be punctured by even a casual friend.

In Pakistan, how we exist as a society is the common question.

• Everyone is very much concerned about family respect, making sure to uphold the family honor.
• The members of this society interact with each other so much. Every single day, everyone attends the religious center- whichever one they belong to. I believe it is as much a social activity as it is a religious one. After the religious ceremonies are over, you meet with all the people you know, talk about your day, share recipes, complain about the heat or the violence. Then you go back towards your colony (which is like an apartment complex), and there are lots of areas to sit, where you gather with your friends and talk at least for half an hour or so. It is a very social life! Pakistani people have lots and lots of friends.
• Oh my goodness- the volunteerism! There are so many things you can volunteer for, and so many programs going on. The programs are mainly through the religious center, but they involve all sorts of activities for all sorts of people. There is band, cub scouts, shine scouts, computer classes, summer camps of all sorts, programs for senior citizens, for special needs people, for mothers, for students. And every single person that I have spoken to is a part of at least 3 institutions.
• One thing that I find to be very odd is that people randomly go to each others' homes whenever they want without calling or informing first. And what is even more odd- people really love it when others visit. I mean they really love it, and they become sad when people do not come to visit.
• There is not exactly a concept of personal time. Here, I am constantly with others. The only time I am by myself is when I am changing or in the washroom (no one uses the word restroom- odd isn't it.
• Everyone knows all their neighbors, and they talk with each other all the time. People always leave their homes open during the day without worrying about anything. And people are always sitting in their balconies, talking with people that are passing by, or just sitting and observing.

Even though they all complain about life being so busy- to me, it seems like a very relaxed and amazingly slow-paced life. At the research lab, there is chai time daily, and coworkers go in groups of maybe 5-6, and just drink chai, share biscuits (by biscuits I mean cookies and crackers. I don't think actual american bread biscuits are eaten here, and cookies are referred to as biscuits), and talk about what is going on in their lives. Everyone is so aware of what is going on in everyone else's life, and somehow you are expected to know everyone in your community, and their relationship with everyone else. Gossip is an important part of this life. It is something that is not liked in the community, but it is also an essential practice. After all, if you talk with so many people, almost all day, then you obviously hear and talk about what is going on with others.

It is a social life here- where human beings interact with each other much much more than they interact with the internet and music and television. I know I shouldn't admit it, but I really miss the constant existence of music, internet and television in my life! I value human interactions much more, but I suppose I have become too comfortable with the status quo of interaction with nonliving things. Of course, I am not implying that in the US, people do not communicate with each other. I am simply pointing out that in Pakistan, people interact with each other on a much greater level, and interact with technology on a much lower level. I believe that the reason for that is not the lack of technology access, but rather the culture of socialization.

Yay Women!

I know it is ironic to expect this in a patriarchal society such as Pakistan, but every single day here, I am astonished by how amazing women are, especially in this culture.

I am working in a research lab, and literally, there are probably maybe 20 people here, out of which, about 14-15 are women. The women are in charge, they are highly qualified, and knowledgeable. They dressing of the women are conservative, but their mindsets are very open. And almost everywhere I look, women seem to be the ones in highly qualified, educated jobs, such as teachers, nurses, doctors, researchers, principals, etc.  For example, I went to a government school, where every single teacher was a female, except for one.

The men here generally seem to be the ones running their own stores, and businesses, while women do not do much physical labor jobs (except the really impoverished women who are maids), and are instead in academic fields.

From the exposure I had with very conservative Muslim women in the US, I expected women here to be more involved in house chores, who consider earning money, and higher education to be a “man’s work.” However, these women do both! At least from what I have observed, these women wake up early in the morning, they cook food for their husbands and kids, clean the home, wash the dishes, and get ready for work, and get their kids ready for school. Then after work, they come back, they provide food for their families, attend their respective religious center, and on their way back, they do minor grocery shopping. Then on the weekends, these women are the ones getting clothing made, or taking their kids to go get school stuff they need. Honestly- these women seem to do everything. I have no idea how they manage everything.

I will still admit that Pakistan is still a very patriarchal society. What I generally observe is that women are responsible for cooking, cleaning and child-rearing- almost fully. One habit that annoys me is that after eating, men just leave their plates on the table, while the women put the plates away. Women put the dishes up, generally wash them (although many of the households have maids that clean the dishes- although I have not seen many maids), wash the clothes, iron the clothes, sweep and mop the floors. Why is it that women do everything here, and work as well?

Well of course that is not the entire truth. I have seen men here stitch a button, iron clothes, and take out the trash- but compared to what working women do- I feel like that is not enough pitching in. And of course, a lot of women are still full-time housewives. But I never realized how busy their lives can get as well. The housewives I have noticed generally wake up at 6 am, and seem to be busy all day. They are also doing whatever they can to assist their children in school work. I am impressed!

I suppose Pakistani people realize just how amazing women are, which is why mother's day was such a major deal here. It was literally celebrated for days. Everyone kept wishing Happy Mother's Day to anyone what was a mom. I kept seeing stuff about mother's day on the news and interviews from kids on regular TV shows. It was recognized in schools, and emphasized in all the religious education classes. I even saw several posters in the religious center I attend here, appreciating moms. All my cousins secretly went to get amazing gifts for their moms before mother's day. And guess what? The light did not go out at all on Sunday, and several people thought it was to appreciate mothers! I mean how amazing is that?  

Yay women!!! :D

First Post on Pakistan

I have constantly been thinking for the past six days that I have been here in Pakistan about how to portray a correct perspective without causing anyone to hate my experience.

Currently, everything is too different for me to be able to provide an accurate description, so I have decided to list some key things that I am currently liking or disliking (basically things that really stand out).

• I understand a bit more of what it means to live in the third world. If I could use three concepts to describe this world visually, they would be pollution, rust and graffiti.
• Pollution is the norm. I do not wish to belittle this society, but it is simply a fact that the definition of "clean" is simply very different from what is considered clean in American society. Areas that many consider very clean are in a condition that I believe would probably be considered a health hazard in the United States. I do not mean to imply that this society does not clean (because people here clean more than I have ever seen anyone clean), but simply that somehow, even after cleaning all day, things just don't become as clean as they do in the US: the dust just settles again, and the smell just never leaves.
• Everything is rusty. I have yet to see a shiny piece of metal. But there is something in the air that makes everything rusty. I know this for a fact because I bought a new shiny golden watch the day before my flight and brought it here for use. In the US, this watch would probably remain shiny for maybe two years. Somehow, within 24 hours, this watch is totally rusty. It looks more copper than golden. I am completely fascinated by how this happened. I am still in utter shock.
• There is no wall, or road, or freeway (if you can call them freeways) or street, that is not covered with large writings, all mainly in black. I would not call any of it art. Rather it is all political propaganda, promoting the government.
• I understand a bit more about what terrorism means.
• Harry Potter comes to mind often here. There is a new population of people that has travelled to this area, and they are known to be the ones causing much of the danger in the area. Therefore, I am constantly being warned about them, and people are constantly telling me that these people are the ones putting up the graffiti, and kidnapping people, and making things dangerous. However, you are not allowed to call them by their name. You are only supposed to whisper about them, and even then, always refer to them as "them." They who must not be named!  
• This society is obsessed with local and domestic news. Everyone is constantly watching the news. If there is any death nearby, people immediately text everyone in their contact list. Every single death, or firing, or kidnapping is talked about, and since there is something dangerous going on constantly, the environment is kind of depressing all the time (at least to me.)
• Everyone here is afraid I will get kidnapped. It scares me, but also somewhat annoys me.
• Some random things:
• I miss toilet paper. Can I admit something without being judged? I am not a theif, and I find stealing to be very unethical, but I stole a roll of toilet paper. I have no idea where to find toilet paper, and I have not seen it being sold anywhere, and I know it would be a very odd conversation if I asked my aunt to purchase toilet paper for me, so I stole a roll of toilet paper. I was initially assigned a room, at the place where I am interning, due to a misunderstanding. But two days later, I had to move out of it. Technically, I was not supposed to ever have received the room, and therefore, I was not entitled to keep the toilet paper roll in the fancy Americanized room. However, when I had to take all my stuff from the room, I took the toilet paper roll with me, because I was not sure if I would be able to find any toilet paper anywhere.
• I hate mosquito bites. I do not use bug spray that much, but I apply bug spray anytime I am going to the restroom. If I do not, I come out with at least 15-20 mosquito bites. The first few days, it felt like my entire body was on fire because I had so many mosquito bites!
• I often feel like my clothing has more sweat on it than actual cloth.
• Everyone expected me to be a brat who requires constant AC use, and who complains all the time about the mosquito bites. I do not complain about these things here, but the truth is that the American me complained all day in the US if I got even one mosquito bite, and at home, I constantly asked my mom to reduce the AC temperature. I currently have probably had maybe 150 mosquito bites at least, and I have been living without any AC for maybe 3 days.
• An aunt of mine was afraid of inviting me into her home because she felt that her home was not freshly painted, and the wall did not look nice. I am not really interested in the paint quality of homes- I just wanted to meet my aunt.
• The light goes off at least three times a day for about two hours each. Nuff said.
• The water comes on in the morning at around 7:05, and I am up at 6:30 every morning. Can you imagine waking up an not being able to use the restroom, or wash your face, or brush your teeth, or shower for even 5 minutes after you are awake? I think the water issue is my biggest issue. When I wake up, I really need water!
• I feel like I am constantly dirty, and I just desire to shower all day.
• I do not see people wash their hands as much. I desire to wash my hands constantly and yet I often cannot. Already I see myself washing my hand about three times as much as everyone. So often times, my hands feel so gross and oily, but I do not want to offend people around me by washing my hands so much. I try very hard to not be so high maintenance. I think a lot of them have the stereotype of the germaphobic, picky American. I think it is an accurate stereotype, but I desire to not be so obvious about it.
• I miss music so so much!! I want to listen to my english songs, or any songs in general. The van driver played some really old songs yesterday, but I was so happy to finally hear something musical, that I automatically had a large smile on my face.
• I hate that my phone balance runs out all the time. I miss my family in the US, so I call them often (maybe 20 minutes every other day or so), and my phone balance dies so quickly.
• I am afraid of using my camera because I fear it will be stolen immediately. That's because people are constantly afraid of using their phones in public, because phones are often stolen. Apparently, getting mugged is a common occurence and a constant fear.
• Nobody lets me pay for anything! I have not spent a rupee on anything, except when I am at the research lab where I go to eat lunch.

• More than anything, I feel so much love!!!! These people (my family here) barely know me, and I have not seen them in eleven years, but they really love me guys. How is that possible? How can there be so much love available in my share, and yet, I have been away from it for eleven years? I would be willing to give up almost anything to be able to have this much love around me all the time. If makes me feel whole!

That is all for now!

Mi Visita a México

I went to Mexico over the winter of 2011, and I had a lot of fun. My parents were going to get some dental work done (which is by the way about a fifth of the price), so my sister and I tagged along for a vacation. We went for about a week, and we actually booked a room in a Marriot at the edge of Texas in a place called Mercedes, Texas and stayed there during the night, and visited Mexico during the day.  The first picture is the first one we took by the border where I was apparently in Mexico, while my dad was officially in the US. I just thought is was so cool that I was a foot away from my dad and yet we were in different countries. You have to admit, that is pretty cool. 

So this is how the system worked. Basically we parked the car on the Texas (US) side of the border, where it cost, I think $2, to park for the entire day, and we walked towards the border, where you insert a quarter and walk over to Mexico. Can you believe that? You have to show no ID, or anything to enter Mexico- you just need a quarter! Of course, returning to the US is a complicated task. 

So after entering your quarter, you walk on a long bridge, where you can see the Rio Grande to your right, and when you keep going, you pass the sign below that says Mexico: Puente Internacional- Nuevo Progresso. We were officially in an area of Mexico called Nuevo Progresso, and that is the place where we visited for the entire week. As soon as you pass this sign, and keep going, you are bombarded with literally dozens of people all offering dental services, and pharmacy services, and opthamologist services, along with dozens of other things. I mean literally within a fifth of a mile, just on one street, there are probably about 50-60 dental areas, and dozens of pharmacies, and all of them speak at least basic English, and accept dollars. 

Just less than a mile behind us stood the United States, and yet it was obvious that we were no where in the US. Everything about Mexico was different. First of all- the main thing you notice immediately, right after noticing the pharmacy areas, is the dust on the streets. The streets are completely dusty, and  each day, my outfit had a layer of dust on it, and my hair needed to be washed daily because I could barely comb through it by the end of the day each day. 

That being said, I have to admit that my trip to Mexico was one of the most exciting and fulfilling trips I have taken so far. It felt real to me. Is that odd to say? I feel like I have to concede that I am so tired these days of the way the US looks. I remember when I was in San Antonio, and when we were driving on the freeway, I had the sudden feeling that I was near home in Houston. That is because the freeway and everything around looked exactly the way the freeway environment looks in Houston. I have had this same feeling in many places I have gone to. It seems like so many of our cities and towns in the US look the exact same, and so many buildings are so predictable. No matter which Walmart I go to in the US, I always know where I can find the pharmacy, or milk. Our world is a prototype that has been replicated everywhere- and where not much stands out. I get so bored in US malls in particular these days because everything looks exactly the same no matter which mall I go to, with the same stores, and the same music, and same costs, and same style, and same order. 

When I went to Mexico, I realized what I was missing. Each place stood out for its unique look. There were no fast foods, or Walmarts or even Krogers or Whole Foods- just random businesses which people built themselves, and some large stores which all stood out because they sold different things, and had a different look about them. 

I love the fact that I somewhat look Hispanic, because I got to practice a lot of Spanish. I tried so hard to pretend that I was from Mexico because I really wanted to belong to this awesome society. Of course, I couldn't do too great of a job, but I still had fun trying to speak and bargain in Spanish for the majority of the day. But bargaining is such a difficult task. I felt so guilty asking the vendors to reduce their prices, because a majority of the people made the stuff they were selling. 

One of the most fun things I did there was eating on the streets. Basically every single day, my parents went to their dentist while my sister and I went to the streets, shopped and bought elotes! Well it took me actually a day (or two) to understand that  elotes was corn. But the elotes we bought was not just any corn. It was corn on the cob with creamy white cheese, mayo, red spice, and lemon. That is the best use of $2 in my life! 

There were so many vendors of elotes in every single place, all day long, that they were really easy to find.

 The environment in Mexico felt so authentic, and just so different. A totally new and crazy experience! And the food in Mexico is some of the most delicious food I have ever had in my life! I think we ordered like eight of the little pastry things the lady was selling at the this particular stand (below), and we took like half an hour just to sit outside on the broken table and chairs and eat. 

The streets and each of the stores look unique in their own way, and I especially appreciated the nice use of color everywhere, such as the blue store in the picture with my dad and mom. My sister and I also discovered a dark magenta and neon color apartment area. There seemed to be so much spunk about the place, where the name, labels and everything had unique font and color. Mexican people are not afraid of color- and I totally respect that!

Since there were not many cars driving generally, my mom (similar to the rest of us) jaywalked all over the place.

There is so much more to share about Mexico, that I could probably write a mini book- but I am just writing tiny tidbits about it, and perhaps I will share a lot more in the near future! The picture above of Serratos makes me look crazy, but I had to share that picture because Serratos seriously gave us two enormous burritos and a fanta all for five dollars. The main problem was that Serratos was mainly for the Hispanic vendors, and workers in the area since there was no one who spoke English in there, and they charged money in pesos. We were very confused the first time we went there, but somehow I managed to order the burritos in Spanish, and the waitress agreed to convert the pesos amount to dollars and accept the dollars instead. After that time, we just went there several times, and looked for the same waitress and ordered the same exact thing. 

We also tried several different, more famous eating places, which were all pretty good, but really pricey and still could not find any food that tasted better than the burritos from Serratos! 

In the end, I was going crazy, and took several pictures where I was in Mexico and the US at the same time! It was really amusing I promise! 

Ps: Exiting everyday was really difficult because my family and I look Hispanic, and all the guards at the US entrance border thought we were sneaking in illegally. It would be quite hilarious if we got locked up or something for trying to escape Mexico, when we are not from Mexico at all!

Overall a phenomenal experience! If you ever want to visit, just message me and I can give you more info! :)

Paranoia Is In the Air

I will soon be heading to Pakistan, and I think I am getting cold feet. I mean, so much can change right?

But I am still very excited to understand my roots, and to learn about myself and my culture.

I have also been learning that although some parts of Pakistan might contain people that are very conservative, there are other parts where I can just be normal and wear whatever I generally wear in the US. I was actually very surprised to learn that. I will keep you all posted about how these two opposing societies and views coexist.

Currently, I am preoccupied with picking a perfect outfit for the flight. I want to wear something which does not get me stereotyped as a fundamental Islamic fanatic in the US airport, nor stereotyped as a too liberal American in the Pakistan airport.

My flight to the US for the first time was in October 2001, and I remember that we were stereotyped at every stop, where my family was checked with much more detail, and a plane was even delayed by almost an hour, just so that all of our stuff, every single bag was checked thoroughly. This offended me because they even opened every bad of chips my mom packed for me as a snack, while I distinctly remember that a Caucasian male was allowed to pass without any checking. Because of all the harsh treatment my family received at the airport several years ago, I am still very afraid of security because of my dislike of being judged due to my clothing or the color of my skin.

Perhaps I am simply paranoid. Which reminds me of Uprising by Muse. I highly recommend that song! :)

Another issue that I am worried about is that people seem to nonchalant about bombing. I hear people mention bombing in such a casual way. I am worried firstly, that I will be way more worried than they will be. And secondly, I am concerned about how a human being can even become nonchalant about bombing in such close proximity to them. It seems like their death is prevented simply by slight chance, and yet they seem so brave to me. How does one become like that? That implies a lot about human capacity.

Just as a random note- I am very excited to announce that I received an internship at the hospital that I was born in! This means that I can celebrate my 21st birthday, not only in the country I was born in, but in the exact hospital I was born in!!! How exciting is that?

My Versatile (and Super Amazing) Younger Sister

 How is anyone supposed to compare with my amazing sister? I am not jealous or anything, but I will admit that it is really difficult being as awesome as her. I mean seriously- she is gorgeous, intelligent, caring, and fun all at the same time! And I don't just mean smart, I mean gifted! This kid is way smarter than I am. So she actually transferred to a more challenging school this year. And she has been  entertaining me daily about how "weird," gifted kids are.

She is unique because she is a "regular," kid who happens to be gifted. She is not a kid who was brought up in a gifted environment her entire life, so she can see how warped the status quo is in her school is. What we are all mainly used to, and even what the media generally portrays is that the popular students are mainly concerned with fashion and reputation, while the bullied kids were the ones who were interested in school and video games and dressed generally out of fashion. Well in her school, the most intelligent kids with the best grades are also the most popular. It is a middle school world I cannot imagine.

This post is mainly from one random night when she was telling me about her school students, and the stuff she was saying was so golden that I had to write it all down.

Our conversation started with her telling me that "my school's got problems." Her school is divided between the gifted "decent [looking] people who tuck in her shirts, and the rest who look at us and walk away." According to her, the school that she is attending actually was performing terribly, so to attract more students, they added an academy portion where some students could transfer to the school to take more challenging courses. The academy students and the rest of the students are still required to take classes together because the academy students were deemed very antisocial. Clearly, the attempt at social mixing has led to some interesting issues in her school.

One unintended result, according to her is that "all the people in my geometry class think they've got 'swag.'" According to my sister, these students not only think they are "gangsta," they also "think they're cool because the teachers know them." These try having "swag," to fit in with other students not from the academy, and they fit in with students from the academy by being cool with the teachers. Apparently, it is common to brag and say, "oh yea, all the teachers know me, I'm so cool." Umm- I think she has got a point about her school having problems. Maybe in college, you can pass for cool if you are known by teachers and principals, but definitely not in middle school. It is like a warped society where the nerdy kids are the popular "plastics," who rule the school, and who think they are very cool.

She is of course inspired by the school system where good grades are encouraged, however, she made a good point saying, "I can't imagine how they'll survive [when they enter high school]." And being the funny kid she is, she mentions, "Good thing they are going together to the same high school, so they can comfort each other [when they are getting bullied]."


A funny topic she mentioned that was fascinating was that her assistant principal is an anglo "old man in his 40s , who is chubby with a long beard," who uses "rap songs in casual conversations." Recently, he reprimanded a student out of his seat by announcing on the mic "park it like its hot."

Another thing she mentioned that I thought was pretty cool is that the students with hijabs (headscarves) seem to have the coolest fashion sense in her school.

One last thing that she mentioned that I could not stop laughing about was when her teacher played a parody about what cool kids are. In the parody, the cool kids were nerds with secret hand shakes, who were obsessed with video games and who dressed in khaki pants and tucked in shirts. At the end of the video, the majority of the students in her class did not realize that the video was a parody, and were very confused. "Nuff said!"

As a final comment, I would like to point out that I actually think that this environment she is in is pretty cool where students value education, and they wear what they desire to wear, and they make that become fashion in their schools. I mean, I do find it odd that the most intelligent students show off about their grades in class, and they are encouraged to do so by other students and teachers, but I also think it is a an admirable and rare environment where education is valued. I like however, that my sister is capable of fitting in in this interesting environment, and also in a regular school where fashion and media are more valued. She keeps up with Teen Vogue, is the best hair stylist I know, has a great sense of fashion, knows her actors, and the news, and at the same time, is very hardworking when it comes to school work! I'm so so proud of her! :D

Bloody Cake Pops

I will now provide the directions for how to make the best cake pops ever, freak people out with an illusion of blood, and have a blast at the same time: 

1: Make Red Velvet cake from the cake mix boxes (even though everyone knows red velvet cake mix makes terrible red velvet cake)

2: Be a man and get your hands dirty and mix and mix and mix. (I recommend washing hands prior to this step, but that is optional depending upon taste.) 

3: Accept that you are probably decreasing your life expectancy, and add tons of whip cream. (Did anyone note the Teen Vogue on the table next to the large bowl? Just a random fact)

 4: Since you have accepted that life will be short, have fun by making a large ball of the mixture, and threaten to eat it without sharing with anyone. (Warning: this might lead to a large fight, which may or may not be acceptable to you.) 

 5: Appreciate the bloody look of your hands, and attempt to smile...

6: Convert the mixture into little balls, and freeze in the freezer for several hours. 

7: Dip in chocolate (hot fudge or frosting), and freeze for a while again. Then enjoy! Sorry, we were too impatient to take pictures during the final chocolate stages- but they were yummy!

Enjoy!! 

Debilitating Flaws

I have been thinking a lot about personal flaws and disabilities. I believe that we often allow flaws to define us, and we forget the other blessings we are given. I do not believe that life is unfair. It might seem that way, but I really believe that this universe runs on a particular balance of things, with many trade-offs. So if we have flaws in some areas, we also have several skills at hand that need to be used. But motivation, passion, and self-confidence are keys in whether we unleash our skills, or whether we allow flaws to define us.

I was watching Ted Talks about Beauty (on Netflix), and there was a beautiful quote that the speaker said which really applies here: "If we want to discover the full potential of our humanity, we need to celebrate those heartbreaking strengths and those glorious disabilities that we all have."

The speaker,  Aimee Mullins, does not have legs, so she wears different types of legs as fashion, and it has enabled her to bring a fresh perspective into what disability and fashion are.

I hope to use my flaws to understand myself and humanity in my own unique way, and hopefully use these, so called "flaws," to my advantage as well. After all, as Mullins says, "It is our humanity, and all the potential within it, that makes us beautiful."

And I totally think I (we as humans) am beautiful! ;)


I was watching other Ted Talks, and these are some really great quotes that I wanted to share:

"If you believe that you are beautiful inside and out, then there is no look you can't pull off. "

"I feel as though as little comfort as possible is a good thing you know..."

"If you do many things, you get to feel lousy about everything...you don't master feeling lousy about one thing."

"maybe that's where all the inspiration thing started from: puppets."


 Last thing:

I wanted to practice my urdu (my native language) because I am a terrible urdu reader, and instead of reading Bombay Mix, I read, boh-mah-ba-iii  mii-cuss. I couldn't stop laughing when I realized how badly I butchered those words!!


Well take care. I am so glad to be blogging again. My mind is exploding with things to share, but I was simply so busy with school and finals! Now that I am done, I can blog much more! :)

Fashionista Moments

I do not know why, but it is always so much easier for me to begin writing again after a while if I just share some outfits and crazy pictures. So the following are just pictures of me. As you can see, I ran out of purple and burgundy paint, so I only ended up painting about two-thirds of my room door. If you pay close attention, you can see the little feathers in my hair in the picture. There is a blue one, and two different shades of pink! The blue one came off because I tugged on it too much, but the two dark pinks are still there, and I think they add a bit of "spunk," to my look. And plus, dark pink goes with almost any outfit! :)  

 The next picture is just me showing off my blue contacts! I think they are fun. And yes, I know it is summer time, and that there is no logic to the winter hat. I just saw it on the shelf so I put it on because it looks really nice with the contacts.



The pictures with the enormous glasses were definitely goofy pictures. The glasses are actually 3D glasses from the theater with the 3D lenses popped out. I think they look really funny. I look odd. It is just that modern weird fads make people actually compliment me. If I wore those even one year ago, people would probably laugh at me. It is kind of funny how perceptions change so quickly right? And it was even more odd to me that after wearing those around the home just for fun, I actually started to like them on my face.

I wore the below dress to my religious center, and I really liked the eye make-up so I wanted to share it. I know everyone always has so many rules about applying eye make-up, and there are endless tutorials on youtube about how to apply eye make-up, but for me, I just have fun with it, and apply whatever colors I think will look good. I always choose dramatic over simple, because it keeps life much more fun.

 I wore the this white and gold outfit to the bacchanalia party at my school. I would not have been able to put this outfit together at all without my sister. She gets all the credit for it. She is tons of talent with costumes, and hair. The only thing I was responsible for was the make-up, and I kept it pretty casual. 

Yay to first blogpost after a very long time! I am hoping to write several more soon! :)