My Skirt Says

I am thinking more and more about my trip to Pakistan.

You know, I am so scared of hating it there. I really, really want to love my summer there- because it is my country.
The problem is that I feel like I have never been patriotic about anything, and I really want to be patriotic about something. I never have school pride, or Texan pride, or Houston Pride, or even American or Pakistani pride. I am never too excited about pep rallies, where you cheer one school/team and boo the other. It seems really silly to me. And I really think that if America became a dictatorship tomorrow, I would not mind moving to another country and making it my home.
I do not know what is wrong with me.
But I realized that for me, people and ideologies matter more. When I went to Emory to see my friends, I actually did not have the desire to go back to see my dorm, or classrooms, or anything. I was more interested in seeing my friends, and people I care about. Even I was surprised by this desire of not longing for a place simply because it is familiar.
This realization about myself scares me a lot. What if I hate the ideologies of Pakistani community? Don't get me wrong, I will always love the family I have there, and I will always love Pakistani food, and clothing. But what if the community is simply so ignorant or the ideologies simple so unaligned with my ideologies, that I cannot imagine being able to think or understand that manner of living? I am aware that an entire community cannot be judged due to some experiences, but I am worried about a prevalent ideology that you are forced to think about constantly.
For example, my friend was telling me how she wore jeans and a long shirt in the airport when going to Pakistan, and people were staring at her, and one lady even asked her to wear a scarf around her neck. I do not know, but I really cannot understand that concept. I mean what is so wrong with wearing a long shirt and jeans? Why is it that showing your ankle, or even your calf, or your elbow, or a little bit of your shoulder, such a bad thing? Why do people often think that the clothing you wear is a reflection of your being?

I know that you can tell a lot about a person's ideology by their clothing. If a person is fully covered, then generally they are probably conservative in their thinking as well. And if you see a woman in a headscarf- you can probably guess a little about her political views, and how they would be different from someone in a bikini. However, I would like to emphasize that that is not always the case.
I mainly wear very conservative clothing- no skirts without tights no matter how long, no shoulder showing at all, all my shirts are at least half sleeved, and yet my ideologies are relatively very liberal.
Just a random fyi: I am experimenting a bit with my conservative clothing and trying new things these days- because I think that I made up some rules a long time ago about what parts of my body to cover up, but I cannot seem to remember the logic behind the rules currently. And plus- wearing tights underneath a dress that is only about 5-6 inches shy of touching my ankles seems kind of silly!

But I am talking about what clothing says about your being. And the answer to that should be nothing. What I wear does not tell you whether I am a good or bad person at heart.
I know that sounds crazy- because clothing is supposed to be an expression of self. When dressing up- I think like an artist, who is putting something on a palette. And what comes on the palette of an artist is generally a reflection of their personality.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I would hate it if someone told me to cover up (by putting on a scarf for example), because not putting on the scarf does not make me a "bad," person, and by me not wearing a scarf, I should not be labeled as someone without culture or modesty. The definition of modesty has to be something personal. When religious books say be modest- I honestly take that to mean wearing enough clothing where you feel comfortable, and where you feel that your clothing is meant to represent your self, and where you are not wearing clothing with the sole purpose of seduction. 

But I gained another perspective when I had a discussion with a friend about this topic a while ago, where I was afraid of people judging me because of what I was wearing. She said that you should dress not only according to what makes you comfortable but also according to the environment or area that you are in. Her perspective is that how you look does create an image of you, whether you like it or not.
I hate to admit it- but she is right. Plus, I would not want to insult a culture by wearing clothing that would offend someone.

But the thought seems a little silly to me. Is it a requirement of society that we wear different masks according to where we are? Should I not be allowed to "be myself," wherever I am? Shouldn't people give me the benefit of the doubt- and get to know me and my thoughts before judging me simply due to my clothing?

And now I will say something that will make me sound like a hypocrite: I will be wearing conservative clothing in Pakistan. There are several reasons for this:

• First of all, unfortunately, I really do not want my relatives to hate me or judge me. I want them to at least give me a chance. I have felt like I am really missing a part of me because I was away from my family. I want to be a part of my extended family- not just a random visitor.

• I really want to fit in there, and feel like I belong there. Is it so terrible to want to belong to a place where you are supposed to belong?
• I also really do not want to get kidnapped because I obviously do not look like a Pakistani. 
• Of course, these are my preconceived notions of the society, but I really do not want to have to defend myself there in front of some crazy extremist Muslim who thinks that even showing my cheek or eye is against Islam. 

Is it also too terrible to admit that if I do come across such an extremist, I will probably just consider the person to be too stupid for me to worry about. I know that saying someone is stupid is not a wise thing to say- and there are many things you can say to refute my statement- but I just ever imagine myself being able to understand the exact logic of that person. Well I lie- maybe I might be able to understand how they managed to adopt that logic- but I can never find that logic to be true.

Can it be possible that genetics defines how liberal you are? I know that seems like a silly question, but I am having such a hard time imagining an alternate reality where due to my environment, my ideology is very, very conservative. I suppose I am quite arrogant in my thinking, but to me- very very conservative ideology just seems logically wrong. How can someone argue that a woman (and only women), should cover her entire body, including her eyes, nose, and mouth? How does that make any logical sense? I mean- sure- eyes are beautiful, and often people do fall in love with the eyes of a person, but to use that to imply that all eyes of all women should be covered up seems like a fallacy. I think people often use the shelter of religion to justify thoughts that cannot make sense.

However, I think God created beauty in humankind on purpose, and that beauty of humankind should not be hidden because of the fear that someone might find beauty in this object, which inherently is meant to be beautiful by God.
Often, I look at a friend of mine, and say, hey- she has such a beautiful smile, or really nice teeth, or really pretty hair. That smile, or beauty in the hair of my friend is just another thing that reminds me of the beauty of God and his creation. So how can God desire for me to not find beauty in something He created?

I guess what I learned from this blog is that I am very confused about a lot of the issues of dressing- and that I should probably spend more time in sorting out my thoughts. :)

I hope you all are having a great week. I have a very busy few days ahead of me, with finals and everything.
But I really missed writing, and this issue was something that I could not simply ignore while studying for my finals...

The Honest Awkwards

I guess I could not resist the urge to write.
I have been thinking and talking to a lot of my friends about conformity and protocol. It seems to make logical sense I guess. The general opinion seems to be that society works in a certain way, and it is not exactly conforming and losing your uniqueness if you decide to live within that system. What I mean by protocol is the meaning behind different gestures- where when someone says one thing, they actually mean something else, or rather simply certain expectations from people in society.
I find this to be an issue because it seems like there is double meaning behind every action. It is kind of frustrating- because it seems like a game with subtle hints. What frustrates me is that- why can I not communicate with a person with just honesty- just talk without a particular purpose?  And just because a person is talking to me in return- why does it have to imply anything?
There are some clear implications about our society due to the status quo. I think it means that we are afraid of being honest. I guess there is generally an ultimate goal of a conversation, and it is not "socially acceptable," to state that in the beginning. It seems like both parties want something generally from the other person, and both are aware of the other person's desire as well- but at the same time- we do not desire to admit it, and instead we prefer to keep guessing about every intention. There are several examples that come to mind in particular.
When a person I know was starting a new major project, his friend was very helpful, and did so much for him. And the whole time, the person I know could not figure out why the other person was helpful to him.
Another example is from Big Bang Theory, where a grad student was obsessed with Sheldon, and forced him to constantly do his work. She seemed like she just wanted to help him, because he was such a genius- but of course, she revealed in the end that she mainly wanted co-authorship in a paper he would write. 
And of course- the obvious example is generally of relationships- but the implications of that are obvious, so I would rather not discuss this topic.

And here in our conversation enter "awkward people." I think there is something very special about awkward people- because they defy the norm. They generally state things as is, and do not desire to play the intentions guessing game.
A perfect example of an awkward person action was seen in Beautiful Mind, a movie about the Economist John Nash. This is a perfect quote from the movie which describes exactly the topic: 
Nash to his girlfriend: "I find you attractive. Your aggressive moves toward me... indicate that you feel the same way. But still, ritual requires that we continue with a number of platonic activities...I am proceeding with these activities, but in point of actual fact, all I really want to do is have intercourse with you as soon as possible.

[pause] Are you gonna slap me now?"

You see- awkward people point out stuff that you are not "supposed" to point out. They realize that often social conventions do not have much logic in them. I have a lot of respect for people like that- because they always make me think about my actions. 

Another fun example is  something that one of my lab partners said. Unfortunately, I had forgotten my TA's name, and I did not want to be rude and not know his name. So I asked my lab partner if he could possible ask the TA's name. And  my lab partner replied- "why do you need to know his name. Just say- hey you, or something like that." It was such a priceless moment. 

 

But I am not so sure about which alternative I would choose. If we lived in a society without so much euphemism, and so many subtleties, and we were just honest all the time- I feel like I would not be strong enough to handle everyone telling me the truth about me. I guess this is another gray area in life- because there needs to be a balance of conformity, and uniqueness. 

On a random note: I was in physics lab with two awkward geniuses this Friday, and honestly- I felt so dumb- because they would discuss some complex physics thing, and then sit and ponder forever about it-while in my mind- I just tried to look cool as if I had any idea what they were talking about. I honestly remember thinking to myself- "what are they even thinking about?" 

Umm- I guess it is safe to say that physics is not my forte...

Summer Plans

I have been so busy these days, trying to figure school stuff out- and of course- dealing with regular drama, which seems a bit more heightened these days. Perhaps due to the end of the year?

This is the last week of classes, and next week I have three final exams- none of which I have begun to prepare for. Is it safe to say that I'm screwed? Colloquial language- but sends the message across better I think.

So I will stay away from blogging for at least a couple of days. But knowing me- I will probably end up writing a little bit anyways. Am I getting addicted to blogging?

On the bright side- I am leaving for Pakistan for the summer on May 10th.

I'm not sure I have mentioned it before, but I was born in Pakistan, and I actually moved to the US in September 2001. So this will be my first time going back. I am really excited, but I'm cautious as well. I want this summer to be a changing experience where I can discover who I really am as a Pakistani American, and also reconnect with my family. But I am going by myself in a "foreign" country, where I am afraid I might not be able to blend in well. I am fluent in Urdu (the national language of Pakistan), but the way I communicate with people in the US is through a mix of English and Urdu. I fear that I might not be able to speak Urdu entirely. And my dressing, my style, and manner of living, even my liberal opinions are issues I am very concerned about.

Will I change too much during the summer that I will not be able to be myself when I return? But what I am more worried about is not changing at all, or realizing really important things about life and society, but  not being able to implement change and find a balance between my old self and my new self, when I return. I think I am very much ready of a paradigm change. So this is my way of seeking it.

And am I too spoiled that I am really worried about stray animals, bugs, violence and electricity? I guess I do sound like a brat- but I am still concerned nonetheless. It will be difficult I think- but I hope I will turn into a better person due to the experience.

And I will most definitely be blogging during the summer. I am hoping to focus on sociological and philosophical perspectives during my travels, but I will probably also be tempted to share every detail of every day as well! ;)

The Impoverished: A Discussion

I spoke to a guy from Honduras today. I am sad to say that that is one of the most difficult conversations I have had. I had such a hard time understanding his English- and I think he had a hard time understanding me as well. It was altogether probably very frustrating to him. I felt bad for not being able to communicate better. And I never knew the Honduran accent was so difficult to understand.

So on to our topic today:
 
We have been listening to presentations in my sociology class about different issues in society- focusing on the city of Houston. My topic was on the achievement gap in the Houston ISD schools, and on whether the Apollo 20 program can breach this gap. (You should research the program- it is quite fascinating)

Looking at the demographics of the HISD schools, particularly the school we observed, what we found is that the majority of the students are African American or Hispanic (about 70%), while 80% of the school was living in poverty. The more I listened to the presentations, the more I realized how much injustice is taking place in the lives of these students.

First of all, considering that they live in poverty, their parents probably work multiple jobs and are not there majority of the day. Looking at the demographics of the African American society in particular- that consists of primarily single parents, and a higher than the national average birth rate. The possible implications of this are obvious- such as not having a parental figure available, and older kids taking care of younger kids. Along with this, we learned that the type of food available is also depends on the poverty and demographics of an area. So there are food deserts particularly in the areas where the HISD students live- meaning that they mainly have access to either convenient stores or fast food areas- neither of which provide a nutritious meal. And the implications of such malnutrition are that students are not able to be active in their daily lives (leading to potential obesity) and cannot fully focus on school work- because nutrition is an essential part of academic performance.

Along with these food deserts, what we also find is that there is a lack of music teachers and a lack of Latino teachers. Latino teachers in an environment where a majority of the population is Latino is helpful as a presentation mentioned because the students can connect better with their their teacher and have a role model they can look up to. Also, what is surprising to me is that you do not need to bilingual in the HISD district to get ESL certification. How are we expecting students to understand complex material if we do not have anyone who can actually communicate with them? And although there was not much data about the impact of demographics on music education, but my guess is that HISD schools do not focus on music education. This denies students with an outlet that can increase their self-esteem and also provide them with a way to reduce stress.

What was also frustrating was the issue of gentrification. It seems that gentrification is occurring, but it is not creating the results that I expected from the readings where impoverished people in the neighborhood benefit a lot from more affluent people moving nearby. It seems that slums in gentrified areas get left the way they were before. Some old homes are torn down to create better looking homes right near the older homes, with the improvement occurring mainly in the new and improved homes. And because of white flight, and a private school emphasis among more affluent communities, the children of the middle/upper class will probably attend either private school, or will take Advanced Placement and GT classes, continuing to be physically separated from the impoverished and the ethnic minorities. And gentrification still does displace many, and as the presentation mentioned- the services for the homeless are also quite inadequate, with several conservative rules preventing many from getting help.

Other issues that connect with the students is also how much of the city waste, and environmental pollution gets dumped in "poor" areas of the city, making the water, and the air unsafe.
It seems that overall, there are so many issues that are "punishing" the poor, and I really feel that more needs to be done to create more justice. With the issues mentioned, the result seems that students of the HISD district, particularly the Apollo 20 students, lack a proper home environment, due to a lack of food, good breathing environment, role models and parental figure, access to culture and music, understanding teachers, and access to diversity. The result of all these issues are clearly shown in the large achievement gap we observe, where the performances of these students are simply not up to par.

The method of closing the achievement gap in school is not simply something that can be done through better education. It takes a complete transformation of a person’s environment. And that means better teachers, teachers who not only teach better, but also those who can understand the students’ situation better. It also means more parental involvement, access to better food, resources, clothing, proper shelter and an overall feeling of safety.

I hope you enjoyed that- and were not bored... Am I interested in boring topics? I hope not- I do believe that these topics are worth reading about.

Ernst Hemingway: For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn

My six word story attempt:
"Once upon a time: The End."

Just a mini joke (but real) post. But really- Hemingway's six word story does exist. He actually said it was one of his best works.

A Quick Quote Response

A quick something I wrote as a response to the quote: The trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.” – C.S. Lewis, writer:

Although it sounds prettier to imply that people often try to make themselves stupider- the reality is that often the world around you becomes so harsh that you forget your capabilities. You have a choice at that time, which is to either work really hard, harder than ever before, because you know you are capable of more, or to learn to believe that this is the limit to your capacity. By choosing the latter, you choose to make yourself stupider. A beautiful quote that applies to this situation is: “Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond imagination,” by Marianne Williamson. If the quote is reality- then the greatest courage required in the world is to be able to reach this potential- a potential that we are often aware of- but allow ourselves to forget due to difficult environments. 

My Bar Buddies (Granola Bar, of course)

I think there must be something magical about granola bars. Every single time my mom has (I think accidentally) given me two granola bars- I have found someone who has mentioned that they either had or have a granola bar with them- and were craving one. It is kind of weird, right?
The first time was when I went to lunch with my old bus driver. She had not eaten since 9:30 in the morning- and since then- she only had a granola bar. And although "we" were having lunch, I was the only person eating. I am not sure why she did not eat. She said she was not hungry ( I really hope that was case- although I can't imagine not being hungry at 2 pm when I only had a granola bar since 9:30 am). So when I opened my lunch box, I noticed that my mom packed me two granola bars. So I offered one to her- and I think it made her happy.

The next time was when I met this amazing greeting cards writer on Friday. I was on my way to Sammy's (which is a place to eat on campus), and I saw this young woman selling really funny greeting cards. I stopped to take a look at them, and started speaking to the lady. She was just such a charming woman, and she had a very spicy sort of humor. I think what appealed to me about the cards was that she was not afraid to be offensive in her writing, and to speak some of the truth about things in life. I am not exactly one to give provocative cards to my friends (unless we are really close in think) but I really appreciated her skill because it is refreshing to hear honest comments about things in life. It is frustrating to live in a culture of constant euphemism. But that is another conversation to be had at a later time.

One of the card saying that I enjoyed, along with many others:

FRONT SAYS:
You know you're old when you catch yourself checking out a girl old enough to be your daughter
INSIDE SAYS:and you don't feel guilty about it
Happy birthday
Pervert

 But my favorite one was: 

FRONT SAYS:
Thank you for teaching me how to tie my shoes • I’m sorry I dented your car • Thank you for teaching me to stand up for myself • I’m sorry for the time I painted your toenails while you were sleeping • Thank you for letting me make my own mistakes • I’m sorry for not listening when I should have • Thank you for all the sacrifices I never saw or understood until now • I’m sorry for keeping you up late at night worrying • Thank you for never pushing me away • I’m sorry for every time I pushed you away • Thank you for bedtime stories • I’m sorry that I was a brat when I was a kid • Thank you for loving me no matter what • I’m sorry for my entire surly adolescence • Thank you for trusting that I was listening even when I acted like I wasn’t • I’m sorry for painting the dog that one time • Thank you for being someone I have alwtays been able to look up to • I’m sorry for all the times I thought I hated you • Thank you for teaching me how to change a car tire • I’m sorry for all those times I rolled my eyes at you • Thank you for holding my hand even when I tried to shake it off • I’m sorry for charging my new tattoo to your credit card • Thank you for trusting me • I’m sorry for that tattoo (and the other tattoos you don’t know about) • Thank you for always, always loving me • I’m sorry for all the things I did that I will never ever tell you about • Thank you for knowing when to let me fail and when to help me • I’m sorry for putting gum in my brother’s hair even though he deserved it • Thank you for a lifetime of hugs • I’m sorry that I grew too old for bedtime stories • Thank you for showing me how to be a good father one day

INSIDE SAYS:
Here's the really important part, what I want you to remember even if you forget everything else in this card
Thank you for being a good father
I'm sorry it took me so long to say it

I really wanted to purchase that card- but I had no cash. I felt so terrible. So I asked her if there was another way I could purchase the card- perhaps online, or the next time she returned.
Unfortunately- she will not return for months- but I do have her website:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/VixensEmpire?page=1

I am warning you- it is not PG, or even PG-13 material. So please go on the website with caution.

As I was talking to her- she shared a lot about her life- and everything through jokes. It was all meant to be funny- but the harsh reality of her life was obvious. It is like if I came up to you and said- "so guess what, I got kicked out of school due to a misunderstanding so I am chilling at home. Isn't it awesome. I get to do whatever I want."
 I learned something about human behavior through her. She was not exactly positive, believing that things are just going to be "dandy" and perfect in her life, but she was not deep into depression either, sharing her sob story with everyone. It is the more positive way to deal with reality- and that quality really made me value her courage!
I really wished I could do something for her. But I really could not. You know how you see in movies where a random stranger meets the main character, and the main character shares their life story with the stranger, and in the end- the stranger turns out to be the answer to the character's problems. I was sad to realize that I could not be that magic answer for her! But I still wanted to do something for her in return for inspiring me and making me laugh with her jokes. I offered to buy her lunch, but she declined politely saying that she had a granola bar in her bag. But of course, being her funny self- she complained that it was a coconut granola bar- and she has bad memories with coconut flavored foods.
I didn't know how to respond- so I said okay and wished her a good afternoon. As I went to eat my lunch, I noticed that my mom packed me granola bars that day- and even better- two granola bars! So I got very excited and took one of my granola bars to her. I was hoping she liked chocolate better than coconut.

Those are my two granola bars stories. I know two events is not a large enough sample to be calling granola bars lucky- but I still think the occurrences were pretty cool.

Have a good night.

P.s: Sorry for the short writing hiatus. Finals are coming up- so I am freaking out.
But I will be writing a lot more when school is out. And I am visiting Pakistan during the summer- so I am hoping that my blog posts will contain interesting things. :)

The Guy with the Marti Gras Beads

I have noticed that people are very hesitant to sit next to another person, especially in public areas. But what I realized that was more shocking to me, was that I was part of that crowd as well. It is uncomfortable for me to sit next to some random stranger, especially if they are within one foot of me. I think I have this invisible bubble around me of comfort, and I do not like breaking it.

I have been trying to shrink that bubble this week. So anytime I am waiting for a train or a bus, and I see someone sitting down, I go and I try to sit near them. I'm not awkward about it of course, by sitting right next to another person, to where our legs are touching- I am not that daring (yet).

I have to tell you though, it was the hardest thing for me to sit in the middle of two random ladies yesterday when waiting for the train. I think I even had goosebumps, because as I sat down, and while waiting, I was trying my hardest to not move at all, so that I can avoid contact. I could feel the hair on my arms standing straight up, because I was so alert.

And today, the same thing happened. I sat in the middle of two people in class, and the seats are so close, that my neighbor's shoulder was literally inches away from mine- and I felt just so uncomfortable.


Well- I am still not planning on giving up. One of the reasons why humans are so evolutionarily successful is because we are part of groups, and because we exist as part of a society. I really feel that we should be able to be comfortable being near each other.

So now on to my actual story:

I had to ride on the Metrorail today to get to lab. So I decided to sit next to this African American male, who had a seat available next to him. So I went, asked him if I could sit next to him. And sat down. First part of the mission accomplished.

But that was not all- I really wanted to talk to this person as well. Get to know his story, make a human connection. So I observed him, and I noticed that he had red Mari Gras beads on- and I had my topic of conversation. So I started with that, and he told me about his five year old son who gave him the beads. And we continued from there, to talking about his schooling, and his struggles in life, and how he wanted to be a motivational speaker.

And at this point, I could see that my stop was coming up- but I was so intrigued by his conversation that I did not want to stop speaking to him. After all, I probably would never see this person again. So I did what I generally do when I panic- I did nothing. I continued listening to him, and talking. And just like a stalker, I got off at the stop where he got off. Continued walking with him to the bus station where he was to take his bus, and talked to him until his bus came.

He was kind enough (or rather, I was lucky enough) because he did not ask about where I was going- because I really had no idea.

I learned to be appreciative of what my life has given to me, and all the blessings I have in my life.

He shared with me some of the jobs he had to do in his life to earn money, and I was really impressed by how motivated this person was to keep going no matter what life threw at him. He shared that once on his job, his thumb split open, and because he did not want to get fired, he wrapped it up quickly, and continued working. Don't you think this guy is impressive? And even though he probably will have no home past June, he was still working, and taking care of his son, and going to school as well- and staying as positive as a human could be.

I think I have been meeting too many amazing people these days. It makes me feel weak when I complain about my daily problems.

 The worst (funniest) part was that one of my friends was actually at the bus stop ironically, and after the guy left, my friend asked me what I was doing there. And you can just imagine how embarrassing it was to give the honest explanation?

The Crazy Thing I Did Today

I went to my religious center, and when driving away- I wished for an opportunity to serve someone tonight. I know that sounds crazy- but I just really had the desire to help someone. Well anyway, I continued driving, and I didn't notice anyone that might need help- so I forgot about the idea, and continued home. But of course, opportunity came knocking. As I stopped at a traffic light, a homeless person asked for a dollar from me. I said I did not have any- because I really did not have any cash. So he asked for 50 cents. I said I did not have that as well. But at that time, I think I said that more because I really did not feel like turning around, and checking my backpack for any money. So I drove away. And of course- I had several sudden realizations. First- I remembered that I did have lots of coins in the small pocket of my backpack that I just noticed yesterday. Secondly- I realized that a human being just begged me for something- and I just denied it, ignored his plea and drove away. Just the idea of me being able to drive away, while he would be stuck on the streets made me wince (I know wince does not sound like the correct expression- but I really did wince). And my final realization- which made me kind of ashamed at my action- was that I myself asked for an opportunity to serve someone, and when nature/God provided me this opportunity- I simply forgot, and did not seize it.

So I ended up "guilt tripping" myself into taking a U-turn, and driving all the way back to the homeless guy, and giving him- what seemed like a dollar in coins.

You know what happened next that was simply very funny? He looked at the petty money I was offering him, looked disappointed, and asked if I had a cigarette.
I wanted to burst out laughing! I felt super silly- but I think my action became into a quick adventure, and now I think will remain as a fun memory to have. So I am not disappointed. Plus- my job was done. I did try to help someone, and I think the money I gave him, probably will help him, even if in some small way.

I'm using the almost archaic laptop (well- a bit of an exaggeration, I know)- so I cannot upload the picture of my bus driver from the prior post. But hopefully the next time I write, my sister will allow me to use her computer- on which it is much easier to upload pictures. 

I met an angel today

I met my old bus driver for lunch today. She is honestly one of the most amazing and inspiring people I have ever known.

Every single morning that I saw this lady on the metro public transportation bus, she had a beautiful smile on her face. She always welcomed every single person on the bus, and always gave off so much positive energy. And even more than that- just looking at her can make anyone smile. She always does her own hair, and make-up, and her look is definitely distinct- with beautiful colors in her hair, nice braids, and jewelry, and matching clothing. I mean- she was a vision!!

I always wondered how she looked so positive. Anyone would be fooled into believing that she has had a pretty good life. Well today during lunch, she was sharing what she has been up to, and honestly- I wanted to cry, because she is going through a lot. And the way she was describing her situation, she was so so positive throughout, and did not look sad. I was in awe. How could she still stay so positive? I had no idea.
It is hard to believe that this person actually exists! And honestly- she got so many compliments from everyone around her, and people literally came to take pictures of her look. I felt like I was with royalty.

Someday, I wish to be someone just like her. She is like an angel in my life, who always reminds me to stay positive not matter what life throws at you. I wonder why the people who have gone through the most hardships are the ones who are the most positive and uplifting people? It is a paradox of life.

It makes me thank God for putting people like her on this Earth, and for helping me find people like her in my life, who remind me of the miracles in life, and of what pure joy and giving is all about. :)

Do you have anyone in your life like that?

I took a picture of her on my phone. I will upload that maybe tonight when I am at home.

Waiting for Glee

As the title explains it- I am writing this while I am waiting for Glee to load. I hate to admit it- but yes- I really do like Glee. However, about 90% of the time- I watch the show only for the music. The singers are really good- but the story line is beyond cliche. I am very glad that they did not go the "Indian soap opera" route of showing everyone crying in the hospital for Quinn for several episodes. That is just depressing- and quite frankly- I just want to watch a chill show, more focused on problems in high school. However, aren't the problems too exaggerated in the show? My high school experience wasn't drama free- but I can't imagine a high school actually having so so much drama, especially in one little group.
So let's continue to what I actually want to share today. 
First of all- I felt like a princess today! My mommy made the dress below, and I just felt so special wearing it today-with everything matching. I am not exactly a matching person- because I actually find matching to be  quite a boring habit- but I was running late, and could not come up with a more creative way to wear the dress. I tried to take pictures outside- but neither my sister nor I have enough photography knowledge figure out how to not make the figure all dark when everything is sunny outside.

 The below pictures are of peppers from our backyard. My family put in a pepper plant, along with several other plants which all basically died. We have tried so hard to keep things alive in our home- but I think we are just unlucky because anything from nature just dies as it comes into our home. I mean- flowers, including orchids, roses, carnations, and several green plants, and fruits. But somehow, I think the pepper plant did not get clued in by the other plants, so it decided to stay alive. The below pictures are of the first four things ever grown by us, in our home!!! We were so excited- you have no idea!!!

The garage door pictures from before and after! Can you tell the difference? Because I really can't- well only slightly. Nothing too exciting. Oh, and the official bug count on the garage door is eight. Eight which could not get freed from the paint. Silly bugs. But they are the really little ones- so it is not noticeable to anyone else (but me, unfortunately).

 Does anyone know why there was so much purple in the paint- when it was actually a green shade? When we opened the can, all we saw, even after mixing for a while was lots and lots of dark purple! We were so worried we that we might have picked out an incorrect color.

My lunch today was amazing- so I decided to take a pictures of it. My mom made amazing fried rice, and it was sticky enough- that I thought I could make little sushi rolls with it. I have lots of seaweed in my freezer because the mom of my darling Sharon gave them to me when I went to visit my friends at Emory during spring break! My mom never makes anything that goes with seaweed, and she never even makes sticky rice, so the seaweed has been sitting there, except for when I occasionally just eat a couple as a mini snack. I felt so oriental Asian today! :D

And don't worry- I noticed my dreadful nails too. I am hoping to paint them very soon. I think it has become a hobby of mine to scratch of nail polish, especially when I am nervous. 

Gentrification Discussion

I am taking a class this semester which is about Houston. It is a survey of Houston, and we have been discussing urban life, education issues, suburban sprawl, convention centers, the new information society, transit, and gentrification- basically the sociology of Houston.

These topics have blown my mind! I am very thankful to this class and the professor- Stephen Klineberg (in case you're wondering) because the class has provided me with a unique pair of goggles- so that I can be aware of what is going on in society more.  I will most definitely be talking about this class more. But for now, I want to discuss two presentations from the class today about gentrification.

Background: 

Gentrification is when a low income housing area exists near downtown area, and bohemians and others looking for cheap housing move in. Soon after, more affluent people move in. And as a result- there is a great transformation of the area. Older houses are generally struck down, there are more shopping areas, more restaurants, better trash pick-up, better schools, and better built roads.

Issues: 

But there are several dangers to gentrification as well:

•  Often, there are many people who rent homes or apartments, and they are forced to move out because of the higher rent prices due to higher property values. 
• Home owners have to pay more for mortgage monthly- again because of rising real estate values- and often that higher amount is very difficult to pay. 

But the issue that I realized was a major issue, is that the people who have lived in these areas for decades- their homes look exactly the same, and their roads look exactly the same as before. What happens is that in the middle of this area, which is very low income, with houses that are 70-80 years old, some houses are chopped down- and new "beautiful" houses are put in. These new houses get the benefits, while the old homes continue to deteriorate. And slowly, all the old houses get broken down- and a majority of the people who lived there, get displaced. The problem is that these historical homes are lost from society- the culture and beauty they provide is lost. 

Why We Should Care: 

And my two main concerns are: 

1. What happens to the people who get displaced? It seems that slowly we are wiping away any historical buildings left- due to "advancement and beauty" claims, and these new areas are much more expensive to survive in. So where will these people go? If they have no money to get shelter and no food- doesn't that mean we will get more homeless people on the streets, more crimes, and more robberies. And in such as situation- can you really say that such a robbery is unjustified?
•  I am obviously not saying that I would welcome the robbery. Actually- what I would probably say that I personally did not cause the robber's issues. Therefore- that person is the criminal. But I think we often forget that this is a public issue, and each of us- even if we are simply bystanders, are still part of the issue. 
• I think it is so important to remember that we are world citizens. What happens to my fellow man or woman is something that should be a concern to me, because it is a consequence to me. Everything is interrelated- we just need to get those "sociology goggles" and observe our society a bit more. 
2. What sort of society are we creating for ourselves where all the homes in the future will look the same- as if they were taken off of a shelf- and placed around streets all over the US. Everything is new- everything is the same. Driving from one city to the next, or one neighborhood to the next- it becomes very difficult to point out exactly where we are just by looking outside. All we can tell is- how affluent that area is according to how many stories a particular home is- or how paved the roads are. Why do we not fight to stand out? Why do we not choose to create a society where we are proud of where we live, and want to continue living there? Life is mobile is guess. 

Well- that is all for now. Thanks for reading my blog! :)

Blah day

Today was just a "blah day!" It started pretty badly actually. I'm not sure why but I was in the worst mood, and  I was upset about everything, and I even felt sick.

But I spoke with someone special and it just made the day go exponentially better. ;) Well stuff kept going pretty wrong- but at least my perspective was not super warped.

I was so tired today that I made such a silly mistake in lab. Here is the super silly story:

• I had to filled a 96 well plate. Each well had different amounts of each solution: protein (ferritin), DI water, nanoparticles, and a salt and precipitate solution I made. I was so careful and made sure everything was perfect because it is so easy to mess up those plates. Everything went perfectly- no mistakes at all. I was at the last step where I had to just add 8 uL of nanoparticles to each well. I was being seriously so silly that I forgot to set the pipette to 8 uL, and it was set to 48 uL. The pipette that I was using was one where you could dispense into eight wells at the same time. So after adding 48 uL of nanoparticles to 3 rows (each of 8), I realized that I was running out of the precious (because we had to super-concentrate it) nano-particles too soon. 

So not only did I have to redo the 24 wells all over again- which took me like an hour, I also ran out of a lot of the nanoparticles, which takes about four hours to prepare a 4 mL solution!!!!!! Gaaah! And then I had to remove my dialysis samples, and realized both my samples were aggregated (basically useless). Aaah!
Can I officially call this an fml day? I would say so!

On a brighter note- I got tickets to go see the Houston Symphony from school! I'm very very excited. I have seen the Emory Symphony because my friend was part of it- but I haven't really seen any other orchestra perform. And earlier this semester was when I went to my first ballet as well. Can you believe that? I guess I'm more "homegirl" rather than "classy girl with the pinky lifted."  But who says you cannot experience different cultures. I am always in awe at all the beautiful cultures coming together, and yet keeping their old traditions and arts alive. I would love to experience all these different cultures- which are only a couple of minutes away from me. This semester I am experiencing more classically American and European things. I have attended an Opera, a Ballet, a Play, and not a symphony. And this summer- I am planning on doing the exact opposite. You will soon hear all about my summer plans. ;)

The outfit below is actually what I wore to the ballet. I had never worn this outfit outside of my home before that day. It was actually a dress my mom got made before we moved to the US about 11 years ago.

Too tired- so I'm calling it an early night, and sleeping at 10:33 pm. Well at least I hope so- my body is very moody.

Ps: Isn't "Dare You to Move," just such an amazing song? I think it goes well with my day- or rather any terrible day. It is so beautiful!!!! If you haven't listened to it- I urge you to listen to it pronto! :)

kindle post experiment

Woah! Can you believe I managed to figure out a way to post on the kindle? I guess the kindle is blogger friendly after all. I really wanted to post today because I am so excited to share that I did paint my garage today! I was hoping to actually paint it on Saturday but things didn't work out that way. I am so lucky my mom lets me do anything to the home under the label of improvement and art. It would not be the same if the sides were switched. My mom and sister really wanted to not be deviants at all so they chose a very very very light green. Which basically means that to the foreign eye who did not see the painting process, the garage looks the same white shade as before. Okay maybe a bit of a difference. But I actually really like that minor difference- it has a touch of me in it. We had leftover paint and we were being lazy so instead of performing the lengthy task of putting the paint back, we painted the door that leads from the garage to the home. In retrospect, we probably should have just put the paint back. Painting that door took much longer than expected! I did not make any major mistakes and the garage door looked amazing. It would have remained looking amazing if the decorating process was left to me but of course mother nature had to intervene by adding about 20-30 bugs to the beauty. Gosh, why do bugs have to be so stupid to collide into a wet paint wall? PAINT=DEATH,NOT FOOD!! Typing on the kindle is much more of a pain than I imagined, so I will probably be sticking to a real computer! I will upload pictures of the before and after of the garage hopefully next time! :)

Houston Adventures!! :)

My sister had a day off for good Friday- so we went exploring the city of Houston.
We went to Hermann Park first, where I showed her the tree which is like a swing.You literally just lower the branch of the tree, sit on it, and push of the ground- kind of like a see-saw. I was really worried about harming the tree- but I really wanted to show her as well. I learned about this tree when I came last time with my mom and aunt, and we saw about five kids "riding" on the tree. And my aunt and I actually joined them. It was really an adventure.
We also saw the beautiful Japanese garden at Hermann Park. However, if wasn't so much fun because most of the beautiful flowers were no longer there. Is spring over already? Did I miss it?

 We went to the museum of Natural Science, and had such a great time at the butterfly exhibit. I had a beautiful black and blue large butterfly fiddle with my hair! I was so excited! And we saw millions of years old dinosaurs in the museum. I felt so amazed at their enormity. Then we took the light rail and went to main street square for some random wandering, and some basic shopping at forever 21. I generally do not like forever 21, but I was really surprised to find really pretty clothes for my sister.
Then we finally went to the exhibit we were waiting to attend all day- the King Tut exhibit.
We spent about three hours in the exhibit, and read every single thing on display. I refused to read another word for at least another day after we exited. I had such a great time, and bought two great souvenirs. One of them is this Tut Plaque which is just beautiful- and it was only $8.99- which I really thought was a steal. I felt really silly when after going through the entire exhibit, I had the realization (through the help of my sister- who by the way is seven years younger than me) that King Tut was Tutankhamun. I was so confused because we read so much about so many different pharoahs, where there was a large part dedicated to the discovery of Tutankhamun, but nothing about this "King Tut."

That's all I have for my adventures for Friday. Oh- except that on the way back from main street street, I had a great conversation with a somewhat elderly man about psychology being "the sterile form of religion." I am not sure I completely agree with his viewpoint. I think religion provides a method of behavior, while psychology seeks to understand human behavior- but it was still a very enjoyable conversation. It was really awkward for a moment in the beginning where he assumed he knew me, but I had to inform him that we had never met before.

Since I was going through my phone pictures, I wanted to share this picture below of my nails during Christmas timing, and a pair of earrings I made for a very special friend. I was experimenting with a new earring style- and I think they turned out pretty. I should probably do more nail styles. I think I have become too lazy, and have allowed my nails to look dreadful over the past few months! :(


Well good night. Too tired to carry on. Forgive my grammar and spelling mistakes that probably exist please. It is 4 am- so my mind is not functioning at all. I just really wanted to share all of this before I went to sleep.

Titanic Newb

Hi!

I feels like it has been so long since I have written before. So I am very behind in updates.

I watched Titanic for the first time today in my life. I am not sure why I haven't watched it before. I guess I just never did. I know I watched the very ending- when I was 10, but in my mind, the story was very fuzzy. The elderly woman I imagined in my mind looked more like the aunt from Spider-man, and Jack actually let go of the raft so she could have a higher chance of living. I also remembered a very large boat that came to rescue Rosie in the ending. And I know it doesn't make sense, but I remember old Rosie looking at frozen Jack inside the boat. I do not know how my mind managed to create so much stuff up over the years.

I was very moved by the movie. I made me think a lot about human kind and death. How we grow up, and have dreams and desires to change the world, and leave a mark- but our lives can just as easily end as the life of a moth (did anyone catch the Virginia Woolf reference?). I think the part that shocked my mind the most was when the final part of the boat was sinking, and so many people were just falling- like furniture. A soul ended- dreams, memories, thoughts, love- everything about that person disappeared immediately into nothingness- as if they did not even exist. What can be the purpose of that life?

I thought also about the inventor of the boat, and of alcohol. How can a man continue to live life knowing that through his utter idiocy, so many people died? Is a human that capable? I doubt it. I feel like if I was responsible- I would not desire to live- and the agony and realization of my actions would haunt my every moment. In such a moment- if the courage to grasp death does not exist- then the only other alternative seems alcohol.

I am a firm believer of non-alcoholism- and of always being in control of my own thought. But the only thing I can imagine desiring from a life where I am responsible for so much loss is a tonic that can numb my mind, and alter it so that at least for a moment- maybe I might be able to forget- that at least for a moment- I might forgive.

Of course, the other alternative- one that requires even more courage is to try to atone for your errors. This alternative reminds me of Angel a lot. Angel is a show where a vampire gets a soul after hunting humans for 400 years (in case you haven't watched it). Although you can never undo the wrongdoings- you can try to do as much good as possible in the world so that at the time of death- maybe you can bring some peace to yourself. '

Until a circumstance such as this happens where you accidentally lead to the death of hundreds, it is impossible to determine which path someone would choose. As for me- I fear that I might not be strong enough to choose the last path and to live with that haunting pain for years- maybe my heart is too feeble.
In either case- I am most definitely hoping I never am faced with such a situation.

Authentic Pakistani

I wanted to share three random pictures today, and I realized that all of them have something to do with my ethnic culture. I was born and raised (only till I was 10- I just wanted to sound like Fresh-Prince...) in Karachi, Pakistan.

And I totally grew up on Maggi Noodles. Please don't even try to compare them to Ramen Noodles! Maggi Noodles are Maggi Noodles. They always make me happy because they remind me of my childhood.
But is it terrible to say that I can only bear to eat them after dumping a lot of salt and chili peppers on the noodles? I was very confused by how bland the noodles tasted without salt. I mean- don't Pakistani and Indian people eat more salt in their diet than Americans?
So I was very excited about my maggi noodles dinner today- and obviously I jinxed it because I got lots of it to stick to the bottom of the pan, and I did not mix the spice packet well- so there were a couple of spice chunks! I can't believe I can manage to screw up even simple "2-minute noodles!!

 This is an art piece I did about three years ago in ceramics. It was meant to show the two sides of me-the American and the Pakistani- and the challenge to balance both. You can see the henna, and bold color, and even the nose piercing, and the red dot (well I don't have a nose piercing nor am I Hindu- so I don't apply the red dot either- it was more symbolic) on the left, with the nightlife-colorful look on the right, with fake eyelashes, and a thin eyebrow, on the right. I think the issue of identity is still something I struggle with. I feel like I left Pakistan so long ago that everything is different there, and I don't quite belong. And at the same time, I entered the US so late, that I don't share common youth memories that most people my age have had. I never grew up with Elvis, or Micheal Jackson, or even Dream Street. I am very thankful still of knowing both cultures because it has enabled me to understand different cultures more. But I often wonder how it feels  to just be fully part of one culture, and skip all the confusion.
However, if that means I would have to give up either culture, and never be able to wear all my Pakistani/Indian outfits- then that is a major "no-no." I love indo-pakistani culture too much- and I also would never give up how empowered I feel by being an American.
Ps: It was so hard getting a good picture in this outfit!!

The Beauty of Ignorance

Don't you sometimes wish to stop thinking? To put the goggles away which force you to see the issues in the world? There seem to be so many problems that exist in society- that it is simply depressing to open your eyes and realize what is going on.
I generally try to think about the issues in society- but the list of issues continue on and on. Which issue should we care about- and which do we compromise? Should we just quit since solving all of these issues is simply impossible? But I wonder if a perfect society really is possible- because if it is- then we should fight till the end right? An even more daunting question: Are we already in a perfect society? I believe this society is both perfection, and a lost cause at the same time- depending on how ignorant you choose to be, and how optimistic you decide to be.
Some issues I was thinking about today:

• I noticed how bifurcated our society seems to be- the affluent and the poor physically separated from each other, at almost every point in life. (Actually- I will be uploading shortly about the medical center, and the racial mixture there.)
•  There still seems to be fear of other races- in the 21st century! It is not that I was not aware of racism- but I think I sometimes forget how deeply rooted racism still is in this culture.  I was more disappointed than angry with society because of the Trayvon Martin issue. How can we consider ourselves a free society? We are making huge advancements in medicine and technology, and yet, so many people are still so preoccupied with melanin? It is frustrating isn't it? And maybe this is the pessimist me speaking- but how do we fix this issue?  Or rather- is this issue fixable?
• I forget how the saying goes- but something about letting racism die out- where the best manner to remove racism is just letting racists die away- since the younger generations are much more accepting. 
• But my question is whether that belief is actually true. What we do not know- we fear. It is a most basic human quality. But Americans live so physically separated in terms of paycheck and ethnicity- that it will take generations for there to maybe be an equal mix- where the Caucasion will actually "know" the African American. How much longer can we wait?
• I was thinking about the fear of being old and realizing that none of your dreams as a boy or girl came true. That you were so foolish in believing that anything would be possible- that you wasted your life away giving back to the people you love. I look at my parents, and always fear how their lives would have turned out if they were not always sacrificing and giving my sister and I everything we needed.
• I felt really sad today about the prospect of spreading your hands to ask for money. What must that do to a person's ego and self-esteem? I saw a man asking for money from every single person waiting for the train. His hand went in front of every single person. I cannot imagine how it must have felt to not have gotten a single penny in return for sacrificing your ego. 
• I wondered why no one ever sits next to another person on the bus and train- unless there are no longer any seats left. Why are we so afraid of proximity to a stranger? 

So as you can see- I did a lot of thinking today. And well- I became very depressed as a result.
It seems like so much of an easier solution to watch a sports game, and play some loud music about love (the topic of most famous songs I think). See, ignorance can be bliss!

But I would be lying to you if I said I would be content with such a life. The joy in life is realizing not just the issues, but seeing so many people working towards solving all these issues. So many nonprofits and organizations are still there in effect- and I observe people on a daily basis doing good deeds. There is beauty in effort for improvement. I don't know if the world will ever be a place where there are no issues. A perfect world seems problematic on its own. The beauty and perfection in our society comes from learning that although there are so many issues that need significant improvement, there are still freedoms and rights- which enable us to create a difference in our society through continuous effort and belief!

On Being Dancer

I was thinking about the song, "Human," by the Killers, yesterday. Well actually, it was more like I did something that reminded me of the song: I sat down in the seat I generally sit at in class, said hi to my neighbor, then looked away, and continued with other stuff. The interaction meant nothing to me- it was simply protocol. I began to wonder how I have allowed myself to become a way in which I do actions that are unnecessary, and mean nothing to me- and yet I perform them simply because they are generally performed.

So many interactions we have in our lives have so much order. Everything is about protocol, and what is expected. Humans, (well let's just consider Americans, since I mainly have experience with humans in the US), fear being caught looking at a random person. It is protocol to look away if eyes meet at all with a stranger.  (Well, sometimes it leads to a quick smile.) Most "hellos" and "how are yous" generally lead to a "fine, thank you," response. It is rare, and quite odd to hear something other than "fine, thank you," "busy," or "good."

I wonder why everyone is always fine? Are we too busy to not be fine, or to indulge in another emotion? Or perhaps it is too time consuming to actually state how we are. Maybe we generally have no idea how we are feeling? Maybe our emotions change to quickly for us to comprehend, explain and express? Maybe our emotions are too personal to share with most of the people we speak with? I think it is a mix of all these questions.

Why do we even ask how are you in a quick question, if the only response we expect is a fine, quickly followed by the end of encounter? I think the best answer is that these interactions provide order- an easy guideline for how to say something quickly to a person you know- rather than trying to come up with a unique thing to say each time. It is good way to start a conversation as well. I wonder why we feel obligated to ask how the other person is.

I think that perhaps these quick conversations (if we can label them that) are convenient because we know what to expect, and we can focus on thinking about other things that matter more. But if that is the case, then this begs the question about why each of our encounters are not significant.

I was reading an anthropology article, which mentioned human group sizes (it was discussing the relationship between group sizes and brain sizes in different species- if I remember correctly)), and  how humans generally know about 150 people that they speak to, or know at least a bit about in their daily lives. Can you imagine how time consuming it would be to have a full-blown conversation with each of those 150 people every single time we see them? Perhaps there is logical sense to those meaningless encounters.

But I still believe that our conversations and encounters should have more meaning to them. That doesn't mean each conversation has to be philosophical or intense- just that conversations should stand out, and that you should remember them 20-30 minutes later. I am not proposing a change in the status quo in society- just a dare to be different from the norm (at least some of the time).

These are two unique conversations I have tried:

               -I generally try to speak to the cleaning lady at work every time I see her. Well I do not wish to pry and interview her about her entire life, but just basic things like how long she works, where she is from, how often she visits, and conversations about how the months are going, plans for the summer. The key that I try to keep in mind is that I do not want to ask questions just for the sake of asking questions. The idea is to care about everything you ask, hear and share. Everything you say should matter in these conversations. I always learn very unique things by speaking to the cleaning staff. I remember this particular lady a while ago who showed me all the jewelry she had on- and believe it or not- she made all the articles of jewelry she was wearing. I was very impressed!

             -Another conversation example: Yesterday I randomly walked up to an guy sitting at the table next to mine, and asked him how his day was going. It led to a beautiful conversation about religions, phDs, and where to buy meat in town (well- I'm vegetarian- but it was still interesting to hear). I think it really made my day!

I would love to hear about your "conscious but random" conversations as well.

Picture Crazy

As I was going into my closet, I saw my monkey sticker, and decided that I really wanted to show that in the blog- because I am in love with that wall sticker. I was planning on only showing that today- but I went a bit "picture crazy," and took a bunch of pictures of things I like around my home. There is a story in my mind about how the pictures are connected though- I promise.

So the first is the gorgeous monkey I randomly found in the dollar store. It was a must buy- and I think it really goes with my crazy personality. But I think my crazy personality meas a crazy room because there is not really any order in the decorations I have on my walls. I also bought lots of large butterfly stickers, and a silver princess sign, with a crown and wand. How are all of those things supposed to belong in one room??


The monkey reminded me of the reason why I went to the dollar store anyway. My sister really wanted to make tissue paper pom poms for her room. They were kind of a fail. I imagined them to look a lot prettier. But if you want to learn how to make them, here is a link. I can't seem to find the exact link we used- but this is basically the same idea: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEeG_tqHHj8

Now that I have shown you my fail art, I think it is important to compensate by showing two projects that I think were pretty successful. The barbie doll's dress was made entirely with toilet paper. Can you believe that? If you have not realized it already- I like to show off (and often compliment) my art.

These Eiffel Towers are not the only ones in my sister's room. She is a little bit obsessed so we have tons of Eiffel Towers. We just bought some texture paint from Home Depot, and painted these in her room about a month (maybe two?) ago. And I'm not particularly satisfied with this project as well- because I am terrible at drawing straight lines- so the towers all look a little bit lopsided. I felt that the letters lacked a little spunk- so without telling my sister, I took our pink glitter nail polish, and literally polished the letters to give some shine. And the best part, we bought glow in the dark paint, and painted around the outside of the largest Eiffel tower. So every night- my sister can feel like she is sleeping in Paris. This is as close to Paris as she'll get. At least for now.

Okay- so my crazy photo sharing ends with pictures of a crazy outfit. I never know what expression to make in my photos... Have a good night! :)
Ps: Do you like my henna?

To ignite simply...

Well this is more difficult that I imagined. So many things to share- so where should I begin? I thought maybe I should start simple with some outfits I've been wearing, and a little about what I have been up to.

Initially- I really wanted so start a fashion blog- because I love reading fashion blogs- and in particular, I follow Keiko Lynn and Steffy’s Pros and Cons.

But I’m probably not someone who should start a fashion blog. I don’t generally have any idea of what is in fashion- I just like to put together my outfits in a bold manner. My motto is to look as daring as possible, without looking too crazy and feeling too uncomfortable.

But I do still plan on putting up some of my crazy outfits though. 

This is the make-up my gorgeous sister and I applied when we went to the midnight premiere of Hunger Games. I think it could have been more daring- but I literally did all of this under 3 minutes- so this is the best I could do (accidentally fell asleep and woke up too late to go all fancy).

This next outfit with my mom’s bear (I’m not kidding- it is my mom’s) is when I randomly found this red shirt on the floor of my closet and had no idea where it came from. So I am wearing a skirt and scarf that I created by cutting a long skirt of my mom’s. I really like the scarf.

This is one of the coolest shirts I own- because Morgan in Sabrina the Teenage Witch wore this shirt. My sister was obsessed with this show, and one day she noticed that Morgan was wearing a shirt she had in her closet. Well after finding that out, I obviously took the shirt from my sister. In my defense, however, it was mine originally. 

 I should probably sleep-so this is all I have so far. 

I'm really excited about this weekend's post because I'm planning on painting my garage, and some of the exterior of my home! :)