Today I was thinking about the meaning of being exotic.
I have been meeting several people who have visited the US for maybe a year or so, and just that one year has transformed them so much.
So first, let me describe two events where I met two people who inspired me to write this post.
-I went to what is referred to here as a "picnic," at a "farmhouse" last weekend. Basically, about a 120 of us went together in two large buses to a house we rented for a day. The house had two large rooms, a kitchen, dining and sitting area, and a very large portion in the front of the house with swings, a slide, a treehouse, and a small pool. I have gone to two picnics, one which was on a small basis, and one much larger with the 120 people. During both picnics, we reached there at around 9 am, ate breakfast that we picked up on a way, and then basically swam all day, taking small breaks for playing games, talking, drinking chai (english tea), and eating lunch. Well anyways, on this trip, I was wearing the traditional pakistani dress, a shalwar (a long shirt) kamiz (bottom) with a duppata (long scarf), that I wear everywhere, and while swimming I was wearing a very very loose shirt, and pants. So basically, I looked completely pakistani, and no one could really tell that I was from the US. However, there was one girl there with a modern, somewhat fitted shirt, a miniskirt, and jeans. Her hair was really stylish, and not tied, and she looked to me like a regular teenager in the US. To see someone who looks like a modern American teenager in Pakistan is very odd- because no one really dresses that way, and if they do, they completely stand out, especially at a picnic with people of all ages. Her looks and style looked very American, and it turns out that she lived in the US for one year.
-The next person is at the place I am researching. She studies in the US, and has lived in Pakistan for her entire life- yet the first day, she came in with a shalwar kamiz without a dupatta. I do not go anywhere in Pakistan without a duppata because it is important in this culture to not leave your neck bare. And the second day, she came in with skinny jeans and t-shirt.
I feel like the dressing choice of the girls was chosen by them to make themselves stand out, and look unique and foreign and exotic.
Meeting them made me wonder why I do not desire to wear my western clothing here.
I think that the reason why I do not desire to dress the way I generally do in the US is because this summer, my goal was to understand what it means to be a Pakistani. Therefore, I want to dress like a Pakistani, I want to eat, and sleep and talk like a Pakistani. It is my desire to understand perhaps the other part of me, and to understand my heritage better. I also perhaps desire to discover how I might have been if I never left Pakistan. I believe that the US is no longer an exotic location for me, but rather a home to me (that is not to imply that Pakistan is not my home).
But I can empathize with the girls because I love to show off my Pakistani outfits and Pakistani culture to my friends in the US. And since I had not visited Pakistan for about 12 years, I really was not aware of the culture- so I too perhaps for trying to express an exotic part of myself to others. My purpose in showing Pakistani culture to others was not to show off, but rather I truly felt that Pakistani culture was a part of me, and I wanted to share this culture with the people around me. Perhaps that is what these girls feel?
I think another reason why I do not dress in western clothing here is because I feel that you should dress according to the expectations of the society that you reside in. If I dressed in western clothing here, it would be considered inappropriate and might even offend people. That should not be the intentional purpose of clothing choice. Although often people do wear very provocative clothing, and the obvious example is Lady Gaga, but to observe her clothing is a matter of choice, and she dresses that way to make a point.
I have been meeting several people who have visited the US for maybe a year or so, and just that one year has transformed them so much.
So first, let me describe two events where I met two people who inspired me to write this post.
-I went to what is referred to here as a "picnic," at a "farmhouse" last weekend. Basically, about a 120 of us went together in two large buses to a house we rented for a day. The house had two large rooms, a kitchen, dining and sitting area, and a very large portion in the front of the house with swings, a slide, a treehouse, and a small pool. I have gone to two picnics, one which was on a small basis, and one much larger with the 120 people. During both picnics, we reached there at around 9 am, ate breakfast that we picked up on a way, and then basically swam all day, taking small breaks for playing games, talking, drinking chai (english tea), and eating lunch. Well anyways, on this trip, I was wearing the traditional pakistani dress, a shalwar (a long shirt) kamiz (bottom) with a duppata (long scarf), that I wear everywhere, and while swimming I was wearing a very very loose shirt, and pants. So basically, I looked completely pakistani, and no one could really tell that I was from the US. However, there was one girl there with a modern, somewhat fitted shirt, a miniskirt, and jeans. Her hair was really stylish, and not tied, and she looked to me like a regular teenager in the US. To see someone who looks like a modern American teenager in Pakistan is very odd- because no one really dresses that way, and if they do, they completely stand out, especially at a picnic with people of all ages. Her looks and style looked very American, and it turns out that she lived in the US for one year.
-The next person is at the place I am researching. She studies in the US, and has lived in Pakistan for her entire life- yet the first day, she came in with a shalwar kamiz without a dupatta. I do not go anywhere in Pakistan without a duppata because it is important in this culture to not leave your neck bare. And the second day, she came in with skinny jeans and t-shirt.
I feel like the dressing choice of the girls was chosen by them to make themselves stand out, and look unique and foreign and exotic.
Meeting them made me wonder why I do not desire to wear my western clothing here.
I think that the reason why I do not desire to dress the way I generally do in the US is because this summer, my goal was to understand what it means to be a Pakistani. Therefore, I want to dress like a Pakistani, I want to eat, and sleep and talk like a Pakistani. It is my desire to understand perhaps the other part of me, and to understand my heritage better. I also perhaps desire to discover how I might have been if I never left Pakistan. I believe that the US is no longer an exotic location for me, but rather a home to me (that is not to imply that Pakistan is not my home).
But I can empathize with the girls because I love to show off my Pakistani outfits and Pakistani culture to my friends in the US. And since I had not visited Pakistan for about 12 years, I really was not aware of the culture- so I too perhaps for trying to express an exotic part of myself to others. My purpose in showing Pakistani culture to others was not to show off, but rather I truly felt that Pakistani culture was a part of me, and I wanted to share this culture with the people around me. Perhaps that is what these girls feel?
I think another reason why I do not dress in western clothing here is because I feel that you should dress according to the expectations of the society that you reside in. If I dressed in western clothing here, it would be considered inappropriate and might even offend people. That should not be the intentional purpose of clothing choice. Although often people do wear very provocative clothing, and the obvious example is Lady Gaga, but to observe her clothing is a matter of choice, and she dresses that way to make a point.
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